Archive for February 18, 2014

Here comes Global Warming to Bergland

Weather: Above freezing for a few days

Trail Conditions: A few rough spots yesterday

I heard a few complaints yesterday about bumpy trails, but for the most part they were pretty good.  I’m sure the groomers got things straightened out yesterday.  The DNR has told the grooming clubs to cut back on days we groom, that was due to the trails being in good shape and also trail permits possibly being way down.  But we should still have excellent conditions hopefully through March for you.  I still plan on taking a ride in March, hopefully the conditions will still be excellent after March 20th when Kristie returns to work.  I have another load of beef coming in today, I’m not sure if they ran out last night, it will be close though.  See ya soon, get your asses up here, warmer temps on the way and traffic drops off even more after President’s Day weekend……..

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84-year-old father. While there he notices the nurse give his father hot chocolate and Viagra.

The man asks, “Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?”

The nurse explains, “The hot chocolate will help him sleep.”

The man asks, “And the Viagra?”

“Keeps him from falling out of bed.”


BBB running out of beef AGAIN!

Weather: Up into the high 30’s tomorrow and the next few days

Trail Conditions: Absolutely Fabulous

Conditions have never been better, warmer temps for a few days will delight riders I am sure.  Back to cold for the weekend.  Low traffic and great trails.

I will probably run out of beef tonight or early tomorrow, but another shipment is coming in tomorrow night.


A cowboy passes by a ranch and strikes up a conversation with the rancher sitting by the gate.

The cowboy asks the rancher, “Mind if I talk to your dog over there?”

“Damn fool, don’t you know dogs can’t talk?”

The cowboy replies, “So what’s the harm?”

The rancher shrugs, “Go right ahead.”

The cowboy ambles up to the dog and says, “Howdy!” The dog replies, “Hello.”

The rancher’s eyes pop wide open.

The cowboy continues, “Does your master here treat you alright?”

“Sure does. He feeds me, lets me sleep inside, and every day he takes me to the lake.”

The cowboy asks the shocked rancher, “Mind if I talk to your horse over there?”

The rancher replies, “Now, I don’t know what you’re up to, but I know for a fact that horses can’t talk.”

“Well then, what’s the harm?”

“Go right ahead,” says the rancher.

The cowboy says to the horse, “Hello.” The horse replies, “Hello.”

The rancher’s jaw drops.

The cowboy asks, “Your owner here treat you OK?”

“Sure,” replies the horse, tossing his mane. “He rides me every day, brushes me down, feeds me good, and he keeps me in the barn out of the bad weather.”

The cowboy looks satisfied and turns to the rancher, “Are those your sheep over there?”

The rancher looks alarmed and stammers, “Listen — them sheep out there, they’re — they’re nothing but a bunch of liars!”

Racks on Tracks

Weather: Warmer this week, snow tomorrow

Trail Conditions: As good as they can get

Same ole same ole up here, had a busy night Friday and a so so night last night.  Lots of beefs being sold though.  Hopefully I can make it till the next delivery on Tuesday.  I had a visit from the Ladies of Slo’s Pub in Arbor Vitae Wi yesterday.  The call themselves “Racks on Tracks”.  They were a fun bunch and were not whining about the cold like all the guys were LOL.

2014-02-15 13.45.59


I was talking to a guy at the bar, and said, “I don’t know what to get Becker for Valentines Day – she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stuck.”

The guy said, “I have an idea! Why don’t you make up a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled.” I decided to to this guy’s advice.

The next day at the bar the guy said, “Well? Did you take my suggestion?”

“Yes, I did,” I replied.

“Did she like it?”

“Oh yes! she jumped up , thanked me, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door, yelling “I’ll be back in an hour!!”

Weather: A bit warmer today and more snow tonight

Trail Conditions: Pretty damn good still

Holy crap, it was busy last night.  I even had to shut down the kitchen for a while.  But I think we got everyone feed before the night was over.  It was fricken cold last night, 10 below when I was coming home at 1am, but after midnight it was starting to warm up, so I am not sure how cold it was when people were coming into the bar last night but I heard a lot of complaints about being cold.  Tonight we have a few more inches of snow in the forecast, and warmer temps into the 30’s starting Tuesday.  By next weekend it is supposed to cool back down but not as low as it has been.  I think we will have good trails through March, it depends on the temps and sun, but we have enough snow to last us for a while.  Usually traffic slows down after President’s weekend so come on up and enjoy some of the best trails we may have ever had.

A shout out to Miller……… Vanesa said thanks a lot, you really did a number on Mike Thursday Night.

A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.

When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.

His dad thought for a while and answered, ”Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”

”I still don’t get it” responded the Little Johnny.

”Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad.

”Okay then…good night” said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ”OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”

Happy Valentine’s Day from Bergland Bay Bar

Weather: Colder with about 6 inches of new snow

Trail Conditions: As good as they get

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, and thank you everyone that stopped in yesterday and Wednesday and donated to the Keller Family Cancer Foundation.  We donated $445 dollars from food sales and cash donations yesterday and Wednesday we collected $303.50 from food and cash donations for a total of $748.50.  I had a few locals that donated but most of the money came from you snowmobilers.  We cannot thank everyone enough, your generosity is overwhelming.  The money Nick Raises goes to help people in need, I hope your generosity comes back to you in good fortune in your lives.

PS The trails are fricken fantastic……………..

Weather: 24 degrees and 4-6 inches of snow today

Trail Conditions: About to get better

How can you improve excellent trail conditions?  Let the temp go up into the 20’s and add 4-6 inches of snow and a Valentine’s Day 500 Cancer run, and one of my hot beefs where the proceeds will go towards the Keller Family Community Foundation.   Stop in today where I have raised the price of my sandwiches $3 each for the day, but I am donating all of your food bill to the cause.  So far we have raised $242 and I have not opened the doors yet today.  I had a couple of groups that wanted to eat and donate yesterday and a few more that just donated money.

Go to this web site and follow Nick Keller, Mike Peters and their group and watch them on their journey today. 

If you cannot make it in today and would still like to donate you can go here, but please donate in Mike Peter’s name as he is the one who helped me change over my website. 


Thank you everyone that has donated already and will donate today.  The kindness of people never ceases to amaze me, snowmobilers are the best…

Buy A beef and Support

Weather: Warmer and snow on the way

Trail Conditions: Get your Asses up here

Help us support Nick Keller and by purchasing a sandwich on Thursday 2-13-14.  Pay $3 extra for the sandwich of your choice and I will donate your $3 plus the full price of the sandwich to the Valentine’s Day 500 Cancer Run.



Bergland Bay Bar

How Polaris Started

Weather: Warmer weather on the way

Trail Conditions: Good as they get

Trails are good, how are you?  Conditions up here are as good as they have ever been.  This is coming from riders that have been coming up for years, cold temps, low traffic and an inch or so of snow every couple of days or so has kept us in excellent shape all year long.

I am going to a grooming club meeting this morning and I am going to bring up the issue of sleds on the highways and rail road tracks.  If you see someone out there riding where they should not be please try to take the time to help educate them, only bad things will come of riders going where they are not supposed to be.


The Story of Polaris from Firecatguy on John Dee (pretty cool, worth watching)

A little Humor from Little Johnny….

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny says:
“I wanna hit the Powerball and be a billionaire,
go to the most expensive clubs,
find me the finest whore on the planet,
give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks,
an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris ,
a jet to travel throughout Europe,
and an Infinite Visa Card,
and bang her three times a day in the most exotic places on earth”.  
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson ….


  “And, how about you, Sarah?”

“I wanna be Johnny’s whore.

Snow on the Bergland Trails

Weather: Cold today then heading for a warm up.

Trail Conditions: You Know, why make me say it again, they are excellent

Same ole same ole up here, trails are good and traffic is light.  We got an inch or so yesterday so the trails got a bit of a freshening up.  Conditions are still the best they have been in years.

The Police are going to be watching M-28 and M-64 in Bergland so if you are dumb enough to use the highways hopefully you have the money to pay the tickets.


The Mexican Maid asked for a pay rise.

The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want more pay?”

Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze. The first eez that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”
Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.”
Wife: “Oh yeah?”

Maria: “The second reason eez that I am better cook than you.”
Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”
Maria: “Jor hozban deed”
Wife increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”

Maria: “The third reason is that I ama better at sex than you in the bed.”
Wife: really boiling now and through gritted teeth asks, “And did my husband say that as well?”

Maria: “No Señora… The gardener did.”

Wife: “So how much do you want?”


Police in Bergland

I told you it was going to happen and here they are.  I asked the officer why he was here and he told me it was because of too many complaints about snowmobiles riding down the State Highways.  When I was on my way to work today 3 sleds pulled out of the Timber’s Resort and road right down the highway.  The last sled was a younger kid who didn’t even look in my direction and he pulled right out into the highway and almost came to the center line.  I was about 100 feet behind him in my Excursion with the snowplow.  I waited for them at the gas station and all they could say was they did not know they couldn’t ride on the Highway.

I talked with the officer and he was very nice, but people it is your responsibility to know where to, and where not to go.