Archive for April 30, 2014

April showers bring May flowers

Weather: 47 and rain

Trail Conditions: Couple days of rain

We only got a little more than a dusting, snow was very wet so it will help the old snow melt I guess.  When will the ice go out on Lake Gogebic?  I am betting on after the walleye opener on the 15th of May.  The Chamer’s Walleye Tournament is at the end of the month this year, good thing they are starting it later.


Remember: Alcohol is never the answer.

But it will help you forget the question…..

I never promised Becker a Rose Garden

Weather: 35 and Snow?

Trail Conditions: all things not good

We have some messed up weather up here.  Mid 30’s and snow?  But I would rather have what we are getting rather than the tornados the rest of the country is.  We are losing snow, slow but sure.

I think we may have some ATV rentals at the Bar this year.  We may even put together some packages with house rentals.  Stay tuned for further details.

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He sips it and sets it down. A monkey swings across the bar and pisses in the pint. 

The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies, “The piano player”. The man walks over to the piano player and says “Do you know your monkey pissed in my beer?” 

The pianist replies, “No, but if you hum it I’ll play it.” 

Rain today, snow tomorrow

Weather: 53 and rain today, snow tomorrow

Trail Conditions: Wet, Mud, Slush, all things not good

Little bit of rain coming down this morning, that should help the melting situation a little bit.  1-3 inches of snow coming our way tomorrow.  You can say what you want about our weather but it is better than the twisters and tornados down south.

We have an Ice-Out contest up here every year.  Everyone guesses what day the ice totally leaves Lake Gogebic.  Some places even put a tire or a whole car out on the ice and call time when the car or tire go through the ice.  I’m lazy, I just call the day and not the time.  Probably because there are just not that many people left to guess.  No last minute guessing, you had to have your guess in by April 16th.  Average is around April 23, Latest was May 18th in 1996, earliest was April 22nd in 2012 according to the list I have dating back to 1941. I think it is safe to say it will be the second or possibly the third week in May, just in time for walleye Opener.

Today’s joke is for my Iowa friends…………

A guy walked into a bar in Alabama and ordered a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looked up, expecting to see some pitiful yankee queer. 

The bartender looked up and said, “You ain’t from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?” 

The guy said, “I’m from Iowa.” 

The bartender asked, “What the heck you do in Iowa?” 

The guy responded, “I’m a taxidermist.” 

The bartender asked, “Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?” 

The guy said nervously, “I mount animals.” 

The bartender grinned and shouted out to the whole bar, “It’s okay boys, he’s one of us! “

No Sun for You

Weather: Hey Hey up to 50 today

Trail Conditions: Back to mud and snow

Funny how the temperature does not melt as much snow as the sun does. Remember some of those days when the temp was only in the 20’s and the sun was beaming down?  You could see water running down the road.  Our problem has been the sun not popping out, but yesterday afternoon it did and so came the little streams of water running down the road.  Spring will get here, just wish the sun would cooperate a little and do its job.  We’re loosing snow, just not fast enough for our liking.


A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. 

“Certainly, sir, that’ll be 1 cent.” 

“ONE CENT!” exclaimed the guy, the barman replied “Yes.” 

So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks “Could I have a nice juicy T-Bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?” 

“Certainly sir,”replies the bartender, but all that comes to real money.” 

“How much money?” inquires the guy. “4 cents”, he replies. 

“FOUR cents!” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the Guy who owns this place?” 

The barman replies, “Upstairs with my wife.” 

The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?” 

The bartender replies, “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”

Sleepless in Bergland

Weather: 40’s and the snow misses us again us

Trail Conditions: Snow covered, not that much, don’t get excited

Awe what a crappy day, but it could have been worse, only a dusting of snow instead of the 3-5 they were saying we were going to get.  Now if we can only escape next weeks snow that is forecasted.  Although the old timers around here say that new snow helps the old snow melt.  Hey I don’t understand it either but, you need to listen to them old timers, they been around a lot longer than us.


A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” 
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. 
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.” 
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean $200?” 

Ha Ha the Snow missed us

Weather: 40’s and the snow missed us (so Far)

Trail Conditions: Mud and Snow, more mud than snow

So far the snow has missed us, hopefully that will continue through the rest of this spring.  But I’m sure we are not done yet.  They are not forecasting 50’s or sun until the first week of May.  LOL

I’m in the process of ordering pex plumbing supplies to redo the water lines in the house.  Wish me luck, I hate plumbing but I heard the pex systems were easy to install, yea right.

Not much else going on up here right now, I did hear of a few meetings going on concerning atvs.  I am kind of out of the loop on things for reasons I don’t care to discuss but I do hear some info through the grapevine.  There are actually several organizations up here working on putting more atv trails on the map, and they are all doing good things, it is just too bad personalities get involved and the nit picking goes on between them.  But we do have the DNR, USFS, local clubs, Assoations, Chamber of Comerences and Townships working on expanding the atv trails.  We will get there, but it takes time.  ( I am humming “why can’t we be friends to myself” )

Step on a Duck

Three guys got into a car crash and all died. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said “Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don’t step on a duck.” The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. The first guy walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, “Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity.” The other two see this and do their best not avoid the ducks. The second guy goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, “Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity.” Now the third guy goes years and years and doesn’t step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, “Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity.” The guy happily says, “Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!” And the woman says, “I don’t know what the fuck you did, but I stepped on a fucking duck.” ha ha!

All Dressed up and no place to go

Weather: 40’s and rain, snow next week LOL

Trail Conditions: Mud and Snow, more mud than snow

Nothing good happening around here right now, we are right at that time of year where everything SUCKS.  We are just in between seasons where there is nothing to do but sit on the couch and pout.  I guess I could get Becker’s Honey Do list out and fix a few things around the house, but what fun is that?


DO you know what happened 164 years ago this fall… Back in 1850?

California became a state
The people had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
So basically nothing has changed except then the women had real breasts and the men didn’t hold hands.
That, my friends, is your history lesson for today!

Snow is melting, just not fast enough

Weather: 40’s and rain

Trail Conditions: Mud and Snow

Good morning, it is great being back home.  We lost a hell of a lot of snow since Becker and I took off Saturday for my Mom’s house in DeMotte In.  It was a long ride for a few days, but well worth it.  I’m not sure what is going on around town here, so I’ll just leave you with a joke that Alex sent in:


A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.  The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now   you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “you have a $10,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.” The man perks up.

“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be   disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.” The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”  “Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?” “Yes” says the man.

      “What is your decision?” asks the doctor

      “We’re getting granite counter tops.”

Sunny in DeMotte

Happy Easter Everyone. I hope you all are enjoying your families today.   I found out my daughter down in Seneca Illinois was going to my Mom’s house in Demotte Indiana for Easter so I packed up the car and grabbed Becker and headed for Demotte at 5pm yesterday. We rolled into Hollies Bar about midnight and had time to get a pretty good buzz on before we snuck into Mom’s house. At least we thought we snuck in LOL. I usually got in trouble for sneaking in at 3am but this time Mom was pleasantly surprised. We got into bed on the back porch and thought we got away with it but in came Mom. Good thing Becker didn’t take me up on a little kutckie kutchie LOL, I’m sure that would have spoiled Mom’s Easter.

I might be off line for the next 2 days, Mom doesn’t have internet, I have to go find a McDonalds to hook onto their WiFi to post this. After that it is all about Mom, my Daughter and Grand Kid for a few days.

For my friends up in the UP, right now it is 73 degrees, sunny and no fricken snow here in Demotte…..