Archive for July 21, 2014

Make sure you use the right hole

Weather: into the 80’s  90’s Am I still in the UP

Trail Conditions: Dusty Sweaty on the grades

Holy Hanna, up into the fricken 90’s today.  I moved here from Illinois to get away from this crap. Back into the 70’s for the rest of the week though.  I worked on the web cam down at the Lake yesterday for a couple of hours, actually about 4 hours, with no luck.  I though it was too long of a distance for the wireless equipment I have to send a signal back up here from the bar.  About 5pm last night I decided to hang it up for the day and bring everything back up to the bar.  And that’s when it dawned on me, I had the network cable plugged into the wrong hole.  SO after wasting a whole day and thinking my equipment was wrong it all boiled down to me trying to go into the wrong hole. So hopefully I can get her going this week.

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in  a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the  Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to   process them into Heaven. While waiting they began to wonder; Could they get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter arrived they asked him if they could get married in heaven. St. Peter said, “I don’t know.  This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” And he left.
The couple sat and waited for an answer… for a couple of months.  While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? “What if it doesn’t work?  Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?”
Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.  “Yes,” he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”
“Great!” said the couple  “But we were just wondering; what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.  “What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.
“OH, COME ON!!!” St. Peter shouted. “It took me three months to find a priest up here!  Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take to find a lawyer???”

Off to work

Weather: into the 80’s

Trail Conditions: Dusty on the grades

Took a ride to Barraga last night with Becker, I guess cause it was her birthday.  Yep the ole gal is 60.  Didn’t win but didn’t loose, so I guess you can consider that winning.  I’m going to go work on the web cam today, wish me luck.

A little boy came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically,so he asked his dad. His dad said, “Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mail man for $1,000,000.” He went and asked and came back and said, “She said yes”. “Well”, said the dad, “Go ask your sister the same question.” He did and came back and said, “She said yes.” And the dad said, “Now go ask your brother the same thing.” He did and came back and said, “He said yes too!” And the dad said, “Well hypothetically we’re sitting on three million dollars, realistically we’re living with 2 whores and a gay guy!”

Nice in Bergland Today

Weather: into the 80’s

Trail Conditions: Dusty on the grades

Hot but the humidity does not look to bad for today.  The mosquitos have calmed down a lot so the nights are beautiful.  I did a little playing with the camera I am going to put down by Bergland Bay, it looks like I am getting a signal so hopefully I can get that one set up this week.  With the camera at my Buddy Mike’s place going down and the Walleye Lodge’s still down there is no view of the Lake.  So we need to do something about that.


The FirstApple

Awoman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man’s car. Both of theircars are demolished but amazingly
neither of them was hurt.

Afterthey crawled out of their cars, the woman said, “Wow,just look at ourcars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be asign from God
that we should meet and be friends and live together inpeace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied, “I agree with youcompletely. This must be a sign from God!”

The woman continued, “Andlook at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished, butmy bottle of Red Apple
wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drinkthis wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she hands the bottle
tothe man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks halfthe bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman
takes thebottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to theman.

The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

She replies,”Nah. I thinkI’ll just wait for the police.”

(Adam fell for the sametrick.)

Men will never learn.

Come Rain or come Shine

Weather: Beautiful day Today Again

Trail Conditions: Dusty

Two days ago there was no rain in sight for a week and a half now there is rain.  WTF they are not even close to being half way right anymore. I have never seen the weather forecasts change as much as they have been this year. It is almost like you want to see rain forecasted the day you have something planned because it will probably change.  Oh well, back to the weather Rock.

Not a lot going on this weekend so far, but who knows, mosquitos have calmed down a lot, actually mom and I sat outside with a fire going last night and I don’t think I even got bit.  Up into the 80’s for the weekend and guess what?  They took the rain out for Saturday as I have been writing this LOL.



A lady walks into Tiffany’s. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little ‘whoops’ and prays that a sales person wasn’t anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her and he’s good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany’s. He politely greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?’

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, ‘Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’ He answers, “Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to shit in your pants when I tell you the price.”

Cable or Satellite? This sucks

Weather: Beautiful day Today

Trail Conditions: Expect dust as trails dry out

Still on my Charter cable problems.  I bought two cable boxes so I could cut down my bill by not paying rent on the boxes.  Holy crap, what a pain in the ass. I couldn’t tell you how many hours I have spent on the phone at this point. Plus the extra 3 &1/2 hours waiting for a tech to arrive at the bar, plus 2 &1/2 more hours with the techs at the bar, and still no picture on the TV.  All of this to pay $300 a month for a damn cable bill for the bar.  But it does include phone and Internet LOL. Wish me luck, I have to call them back today.

Speaking of Internet, the Camera I had on the Lake at my buddy Mike’s Place is now down.  Mike shut his internet off because of his cable bill so I am losing that picture on the web site.  The Walleye Lodge’s camera is down, I’ll send them an email to let them know.

It was the mailman’s last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift certificate envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine imported cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures. At each of the houses along his route, he was met with congratulations, farewells, cards, and gifts of all types and values. At the final house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful young blonde in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where they had a most passionate liaison. Afterwards, they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup’s bottom edge. “All this was just too wonderful for words,” he said, “…..but what’s the dollar for?” “Well,” she said, “Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you?” He said, “…Scr*w him…give him a dollar.” The blonde then blushed and said, “….But the breakfast was my idea.”

Hot in Bergland

Weather: Looks like it is going to be hot for a while

Trail Conditions: Expect dust as trails dry out

I been getting ready for the Charter cable upgrade at the bar.  Good luck to anyone buying their own cables box to try and save a little money.  So far I have 3 hours of my time dealing with the techs and phone support.  As if a $300 a month cable bill is not enough, now they are finding others ways to charge us more.  Remember the good ole days when TV was free?

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they’re at sea for so long. “Let me show you,” says the captain. He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there’s a solitary barrel with a hole in it. “This’ll be the best sex you’ll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I’ll give you some privacy.” The recruit doesn’t quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns. “Wow! That was the best sex I’ve ever had! I want to do it every day!” “Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday.” “Why not Thursday?” “That’s your day in the barrel.”

Clearing up in Bergland

Weather: Rain early

Trail Conditions: Fun, muddy, no dust

Well I have a meeting to go to this morning.  Gogebic Area Grooming, yep only 4 & 1/2 more months until the snowmobile trails open.  I have seen a rise in atv/utv’s this year but we have a long way to go to make it a more popular sport up here in the UP.  I think our goal is a trail around the Lake.  The Lake is what brings the snowmobiles to town, atv’s would be the same I think.  A loop around the Lake would give access to resorts and camp grounds.  Hopefully some day soon we can get this accomplished.

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?” “About 35,”he replied. “I’m actually 47,” the woman said, feeling really happy. After that she went into McDonald’s for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, “Oh, you look about 29.” “I am actually 47!” she said, feeling really good. While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question. He replied, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman’s age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age.” There was no one around, so the woman said, “What the hell?” and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, “OK, You are 47.” Stunned, the woman said, “That was brilliant! How did you do that?” The old man replied, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.”

Get Clean at Bergland Bay Bar

Weather: Cool today and tomorrow

Trail Conditions: Fun, muddy

We are up and running with the washer/dryer at the bar.  Come on in and do some laundry, I have payments to make.

Not a lot going on around town last week, people partied down the two weeks prior so I guess everyone needed some rest.  Hopefully this week will be a little better, forecast looks good for the upcoming week so come on up and enjoy.

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, “Hey, let’s take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.” So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, “Who is it?” “Blind man!” The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, “He’s blind, he can’t see. What could it hurt.” They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, “Hey, nice t*ts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?”

Wash and Dry at the Bar

Weather: Nice today

Trail Conditions: Fun, muddy

A got some help from my friend Ernie yesterday and now the Washer and Dryer are in operation at the bar. BYOS  means bring your own soap. Now you have an excuse to come to the bar.  Just tell your spouse you are going to do laundry………..


Beautiful day in Bergland

Weather: Nice today and tomorrow

Trail Conditions: Fun

Not a lot going on, mosquitos have even been thinning out, I guess they are bored too.  Gonna go work on the dryer at the bar this morning, the washer is up and going but I need to get the gas hooked up to the dryer. Short and sweet today, I gotta go work.



Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?” The cop chuckles and replies, “He sure did!” “Well,” says the little girl, “Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!”