Archive for March 20, 2015

3-20-15 10am

Weather: Warmer today, snow tomorrow

Trail Conditions: Muddy, lot of snow still.

Rain today and snow tomorrow, Becker and I are shacked up in the house sick as hell. What a great spring LOL.

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I’VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:
 
 
I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s somebody under my bed!! I’m scared. I think I’m going crazy.
 
Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to Me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.
 
How much do you charge? Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.
 
I’ll sleep on it, I said.
 
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. Why didn’t you come to See me about those fears you were having? He asked.
 
Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00. A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all That money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.
 
Is that so? With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a Bartender cure you?
 
He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain’t nobody under there now.

3-19-15

Weather: Cloudy, cool.

Trail Conditions: Muddy, lot of snow still.

Now the temps are getting back to normal, too late Mother Nature, you already screwed us. This weekend we are bask to 30’s during the day and teens at night.

 

Pelosi goes to church

 

 

Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington, DC , an aide to Nancy Pelosi visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in DC.
He told the priest that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day’s Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint,

Pelosi’s aide said, “Look, I’ll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint. The Cardinal thought about it and said, “Well, the church can use the money, so I’ll work your request into tomorrow’s homily.”

As Pelosi’s aide promised, Nancy Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon the Cardinal pointed out that Ms. Pelosi was present. The Cardinal went on to say to the congregation “While Ms. Pelosi’s presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her most egregious views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues.” The Cardinal continued.
“Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a faithful Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington, and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted.” the Cardinal
concluded, “but, when compared with President Obama, Ms. Pelosi is a saint.”

3-18-15

Weather: Sunny, cool.

Trail Conditions: Stick a fork in us, we’re done.

Just chilling out at the bar waiting for Ralph to come in. I feel like the Maytag repairman here.

clock

Happy Saint Patty’s Day

Weather: Who cares anymore.

Trail Conditions: Stick a fork in us, we’re done.

Saint Patty’s Day is here and not a snow storm in sight. Usually we get a big one around this time but it does not look like it is going to happen this year. This whole year has been a strange one starting with all the snow we got in November to the way the season ended so abruptly. I have heard our snow totals were around 190 inches, not much considering the 90+ inches we got in November melted for the most part. We even had about a three week stretch in January where we did not receive any snow. With all the traffic we had it was a wonder any of the trails held up.

I’ll keep the blog here going over the summer, just forgive me if I miss a day here and there, hard to find things to write about when not a lot goes on up here. If you come across a good joke send it in to me so I can share, thanks again for tuning in, and I’m sure I’ll see a few of you through the summer.

3-16-15 11am

Weather: Rain today snow tonight

Trail Conditions: Stick a fork in us, we’re done

Well I wrote a report yesterday but didn’t hit post. I must have been nervous about working yesterday after not going in for a week LOL. Nothing to much to say, very slow day yesterday. I think we have a lot more of them to come too.

Our 8th Snowmobile season is in the books. Thank you everyone for making it the best year we have had yet. It continues to amaze me how many great friends we have made over the years. We cannot thank you enough.Two policemen call the station on the radio.

“Hello. Is that you Sarge?”
“Yes?”
“We have a situation here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean.”
“Have you arrested the woman?”
“No sir. The floor is still wet.”

 

3-14-15

Weather: Cold front coming in, only in the 40’s

Trail Conditions: Worse by the day?

Maple Ridge’s Fishing tournament is today, good luck going out on that lake folks. It looks like it is getting slushier by the day. Sunday Lake in Wakefield has a lot of water on top of it. Looks like it is going to be an early ice out this year. Spring is coming fast to Lake Gogebic it looks like, not even a snow storm in sight.

I had to take a run to Walmart yesterday and I seen a few sleds on the trail. Total Die Hards, it didn’t look like much fun to me.

 

Farmer John
Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week.

So Farmer John called the local police station to complain, “You’ve got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens,” he said to the local police officer.

“What do you want me to do?” asked the policeman.

“I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!”

So the next day the policeman had the Council erect a sign that said:
SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said, “You’ve still got to do something about these drivers. The ‘school crossing’ sign seems to make them go even faster!”

So again, they put up a new sign:
SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and said, “Your signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?”

In order to get Farmer John off his back said “Sure. Put up your own sign.

The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got the better of the Officer, so he called Farmer John, “How’s the problem with the speeding drivers. did you put up your sign?”

“Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed.

The policeman was really curious and thought he’d better go out and take a look at the sign. He also thought the sign might be something the Police could use elsewhere, to slow drivers down..

So he drove out to Farmer John’s house.

His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.

‘NUDIST COLONY’
‘Slow down and watch out for chicks!’

3-13-15 9am

Weather: Still flirting with the 50’s

Trail Conditions: Worse by the day?

I’m still getting emails about trail conditions LOL. They are what the are, can you find a trail to ride? Probably. Are they getting worse and harder to get to? Yup, everyday.

Happy Friday the 13th, again. Oh has it ever been a nice week off. We got the cooler fixed yesterday but other than that I haven’t done a damn thing but sleep. Becker has been sick as a dog with the flu. So I been taking care of her sick ass too I guess.

Not a lot going on right now, still getting a sled here and there, but I’m sure that will end quick. The Lake even looks pretty bad from the web cams.

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

 
He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat
 
As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.
 
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out,
 
” Business trip or pleasure?”
 
She turned, smiled and said, “”  Business.
 
I’m going to the Annual Nympho- maniacs of America Convention in Boston .”
 
He swallowed hard.
 
Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a
meeting of nymphomaniacs.
 
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”
 
” Lecturer,”   she responded.
 
” I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
 
” Really?”   he said.
 
“And what kind of myths are there?”
 
”  Well,”  she explained, ” One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.
 
Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.
 
I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”
 
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. ”  I’m sorry,”   she said, ” I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name…”
 
” Tonto,” the man said,
 
” Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.”

 

3-12-15 10:30am

Weather: Still flirting with the 50’s

Trail Conditions: Can’t be too good

We are still hitting around 50 for the next week. I can’t imagine any trail conditions that are going to be good around us. It is surprising though how long the snow lasts out in the woods. But there has to be a lot of melting going on out there. You can see how much snow has let around the bar on the web cams. But there still is a lot left. We lost about 6 inches in the yard yesterday around the porcupine. I haven’t been at work at all this week, I been relaxing at home. The Lake is probably getting pretty slushy and continue to get worse. It has been a great season, thank all of you that came by.

> What Aisle is the Polish
> Sausage in?
> Everyone seems to be in
> such a hurry to scream ‘prejudice’ these
> days…………….
> A customer asked,
> “In what aisle can I find the Polish
> sausage?”
> The clerk asks,
> “Are you Polish?”
> The guy , clearly
> offended, says, “Yes I am. But let me ask you
> something.
> If I had asked for
> Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was
> Italian?
> Or if I had asked for
> German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was
> German?
> Or if I asked for a
> kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was
> Jewish?
> Or if I had asked for a
> Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
> Or if I asked for some
> Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was
> Irish?”
> The clerk says,
> “No, I probably wouldn’t.”
> The guy says, “Well
> then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me
> if I’m Polish?”

>  
>
>
> The clerk replied,
> “Because you’re in Home
> Depot.”

3-11-15 9:30am

Weather: Only high 40’s today

Trail Conditions: Not going to last.

Once again if you are here enjoy what you can, I’m sure there are still good trails out in the woods. I wouldn’t drive far to get here though unless something changes drastically. Usually March throws us a few storms, no one around here has taken off their snowplow yet.

I would have been off on my ride this week but I ended up with a few personnel issues I had to deal with along with having cooler problems at the bar. The new part is coming in Thursday for the cooler so things should get back to normal. I scheduled the girls to work this week so Becker and I could both have off, so I think I missed this years ride.

Janye your Mostaccioli’s were the best I ever had. Thank you, or should I thank Jay and the boys for not eating all of them.

Woman’s Medical Examination

 

During a woman’s medical examination, the doctor says, “Your heart,  lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine.
Now let me see the part that gets  you ladies into all kinds of trouble.”

The lady starts taking off her panties but is interrupted by the doctor.
“No! No! …. Just stick out your tongue!”

3-10-15 10am

Weather: Another warm one

Trail Conditions: Not going to last.

If you are up here enjoy. If you are home, I would not even consider it. Temps hit 52 degrees yesterday as Becker and I were out running around. Funny thing is the trails looked good from the road as went drove to Ontonagon, Rockland and down to Kenton to visit my favorite bar owner Jane at Hoppys. By 6pm Riders in our bar said trails were going to mush. 34 degrees was the lowest I seen on my weather station for an overnight temp. And we are headed back up to 50 today. I think it is safe to say that you can stick a fork in us, we are done for. A week from now temps are below freezing for a high, but there is a lot of warm weather in between.

If you still got to try and ride one more time, call up in the Keewenaw, they usually last a while longer than us. Their temps are 5-10 degrees colder too.

I know I hit a sore spot for some on the Ban the Can thing, I guess in a way I probably meant to. I even realize their are responsible riders out there that don’t Brapp in town or while waiting at the gas stations. But the ones that are doing this crap are causing major problems for us. (And you too as riders) Look at my Face Book Page and see what this kid named Kacee wrote yesterday, “You know you live in a snowmobile town it’s been that way for years you don’t like the sound of them move the fuck out into the country”

With an attitude like that do you see why locals up here do not like snowmobilers? One of him negates thousands of good people like yourselves. I think drastic times call for drastic measures, we are in jeopardy of losing a major trail corridor Between Ironwood and Bergland just because of loud sleds and riders going off trail onto private property. People that come up here for 2-3 days and have no respect for people that live here or their property. And then they go back home where they wouldn’t put up with that shit in their back yard.
The other issue that comes up when you mention loud sleds is loud Harleys. Folks it is apples and oranges. Trails go through private property and we are at the landowners mercy to keep them open. It is a different fight.