5-3-15

Weather: Beautiful.

Trail Conditions: Grades are good.

Anybody watch the Merriweather fight last night? I sure don’t know what all the hype was about. Then again I never got into boxing much.

Becker was busy cleaning up the lot across the street from the bar yesterday, I ended up working all day so she was on her own. Poor thing worked her ass off, the county plow trucks kind of tore up the lot. We had to get it back in shape so they would allow us to use it again next year.

 

I boarded an airplane and took my seat. As I settled in, I glanced up and saw a beautiful woman boarding the plane.

I soon realized she was heading straight towards my seat.   As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside mine.

Eager to strike up a conversation I blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

 

She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nympho- maniacs of America Convention in Boston.”

 

I swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen sitting next to me, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain my composure, I calmly asked, “What’s your business role at this convention?”

 

“Lecturer,” she responded.” I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

 

“Really?”  I said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

 

“Well,” she explained, ” One popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.”  I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name…”

 

“Tonto,” I said,” Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba.”  

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