Weather: Sunny Today.

GRASS is the word for today, gotta get the yard at home done today. Sunny outside so it should be a good day to work in the yard.


  Subject:   As  We Age
The biggest lie I  tell myself is …”I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember  it.”   
Wouldn’t it be great  if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free  and three sizes smaller!   
Last year I joined a  support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet!  
I don’t trip over  things, I do random gravity checks! 
I don’t need anger  management. I need people to stop pissing me off!  
Old age is coming at  a really bad time!  
Lord grant me the  strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things  I can & the friends to post my bail when I finally snap! 
I don’t have gray  hair. I have “wisdom highlights”. I’m just very wise.   
My people skills are  just fine. It’s my tolerance to idiots that needs work.  
Teach your daughter  how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of  paper.  
If God wanted me to  touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees. 
The kids text me  “plz” which is shorter than please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes”. 
I’m going to retire  and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do that second  week.  
When did it change  from “We the people” to “screw the people” ?  
Even duct tape can’t  fix stupid … but it can muffle the sound!  
Why do I have to  press one for English when you’re just gonna transfer me to someone I can’t  understand anyway?  
Of course I talk to  myself, sometimes I need expert advice.  
Oops! Did I roll my  eyes out loud? 
At my age “Getting  lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there  for.  
Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree … that makes it a plant which means … chocolate  is   salad  !!!  

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