6-8-15

Weather: Chance of rain but a nice day anyway.

What did they say about rainy days and Mondays? They don’t get you down if you live in the UP. I think my fricken cold is starting to let up, so it is time to start kicking ass around here. Only a week and a half left till Mom moves into her new house.

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it     is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking  activity.  When a man  volunteers to do the     BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…   

(1)      The woman   buys the food.

(2)      The woman   makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and   makes dessert  .   

(3)      The woman   prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in  hand.   

(4)      The woman   remains outside the compulsory nine feet exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:   

(5)      THE MAN   PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine…   

(6)      The woman   goes inside to organize the plates and   cutlery.   

(7)      The woman   comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great.  He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again:   

(8)      THE MAN   TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine…   

(9)      The woman   prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the   table.    

(10)     After   eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11)      Everyone       PRAISES     the      MAN       and      THANKS HIM   for his cooking efforts. 
(12)      The man   asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off”, and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes   that    there’s just no pleasing some women.

 

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