Archive for August 21, 2015


Weather: Back to sunshine.

Hey Wisconsin, I got this from one of our Caledonia Boys

Tom,  could you do us Caledonia boys a favor??  Take a look at this link.  Could you get something up on your website about this??  The three of us that were up there on the vets ride last year are heading up this committee and are members of the FD in Caledonia here.  Shitty deal.  Big time shitty deal.  Really would like to find the car and the assholes that stole it….  Hate theives!!!!!!  Thanks man.



Weather: Cold and rainy.

WOW woke up this morning freezing my ass off. Temp was 54 outside and 68 in the house. Why is it 54 degrees seems so warm in March but cold in August? Even the 68 in the house seemed cold, I kicked the heat on for a minute to take the dampness out.

Maybe this has something to do with it, 3 months, 10 days, 12 hours and 35 minutes till the trails open up.




Weather: Rain and cool.

A little wet the next few days. But we need the rain, it make the grass grow and the mosquitos come back. Just fricken great.

Judy married Ted; they had 13 children. Ted died ..
She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children….
Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later.
Judy married again, and this time, she and John had 5 children….
Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said: “Lord, after all these years, they are finally together” .
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend Margaret: “Do you think he means her first, second, or third husband?”
Margaret replied: I think he means her legs, Ethel!


Weather: Cool as a cucumber up here.

Awe back to UP weather, 70 and 60’s, good day for yard work. YUK.



A young Arkansas lad goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home.         



 “Dad,” he says, “You won’t believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will teach our dog, Ole’Blue how to talk!”   




 “That’s amazing,” his Dad says. “How do I get Ole’ Blue in that program?”  




 “Just send him over here with $1,000” the young Arkie says “and I’ll get him in the course.”   




 So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.   




 About two-thirds of the way through the semester,   the money again runs out. The boy calls home.   




 “So how’s Ole’ Blue doing son?” his Father asks.   




 “Awesome, Dad, he’s talking up a storm,” he says, “but you just won’t believe this — they’ve had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!”   




 “Read!?” says his Father, “No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?”   




 “Just send $2,500, I’ll get him in the class.”   




 The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad.  She very quickly came up with a plan for him.   




 So she has him shoot the dog.   




 When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father   is all excited.   




 “Where’s Ole’ Blue? I just can’t wait to see him read something and talk!”   




 “Dad,” the boy says, “I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole’Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does”.   




 “Then Ole’ Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?”   




 The Father went white and exclaimed, “I hope you shot that lying dog before he talks to your Mother!”   




 “I sure did, Dad!”   




 “That’s my boy!”   




 The kid married his girlfriend, they both went on to law school inFayetteville, he became Governor of Arkansas and President of the United States, then she was appointed Secretary of State and is now running for President. 


Weather: Cool.

Back to 70 and 60’s for a few days, nice UP weather, I am sick of sweating. But maybe I just work too hard LOL, Uncle Dale will get a kick out of that one.

Becker and I went out for a pontoon ride yesterday. It was nice without the sun just beating down, cloudy and 80’s was nice enough. We were sitting in 2 feet of water and you could see the bottom, the fish finder was showing all kids of fish going by, but we could not see any fish. Explain that one to me.

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking…

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.”Follow me son” the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.”First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing.”And they did.”Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing.”And they did.”Now we eat everybody.”And they did.When they were both gorged, the son asked, “Dad, why didn’t we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?”His wise father replied,”Because they taste better if you  scare the shit out of them first!”  


Weather: Hot.

Another 80+ day and then a cool down next week, Wednesday might even be in the 60’s. Bout time. Mom is headed down to Indiana for a bit, brother Scott is going in to have his shoulder fixed, and she has to be there for closing on her condo in Demotte In. So I guess I am moving into the Lake House. Yippeeeeee

Just wish I had internet over there.




Weather: Hot.

Into the 90’s today, gonna be a nice day for a pontoon ride out on the Lake with brother Pat and Niece Shay. I doubt Mom will go but we will ask. Had to believe that August is half gone. Looking forward to Fall, we need to get out on the side by side and look at all the pretty colors. Does that make me a tree hugger? LOL


Bob goes to his friend Sam and says …I’m sleeping with my Ministers wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after the service for me?”


The friend doesn’t like it but being a friend, he agrees.


After the service, he starts talking to the Minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the Minister gets annoyed and asks Bob what he’s really up to.


Bob, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the Minister…My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”


The Minister smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob’s shoulder and says…You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago”


Weather: Sunshine all Sumer Long.

High of 83 today but it is already 89 degrees. WOW gonna be a scorcher up here the next few days. Might have to see if brother pat wants to go for a pontoon ride.

Ole, the smoothest-talking Norske in the Minnesota National Guard and a
natural born salesman, got called up for active duty.

Ole’s first assignment was in a military induction
center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of
advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI life
insurance, to which they were entitled.

The officer in charge soon noticed that Ole was getting a 99% sign-up rate for
the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was
remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30 per month for
the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already
providing at no charge.
The officer decided he’d sit in the back of the
room at the next briefing and observe Ole’s sales pitch.

Ole stood up before the latest group of inductees and said…”If you haf
da normal GI insurans an’ yoo go to Afghanistan an’ get yourself
killed, da governmen’ pays yer beneficiary $20,000. If yoo take out da
supplemental insurans, vich cost you only t’irty dollars a mont , den
da governmen’ got ta pay yer beneficiary $200,000!

Now, Ole concluded, Vich bunch you tink deygonna send ta Afghanistan


Weather: Sunshine all Sumer Long.

I don’t remember a summer this nice in the 9 summers I have spent in the UP. The weather has been fantastic and there is no end in sight. Too bad I am just sitting on my ass at Mom’s house staring at the Lake instead of going out and doing something.



Weather: Sunshine all week.

Great weather ahead of us here for the next week or so. It may be time for an ATV ride. Trails will be very dusty though, we have not had a lot of rain, I think it pissed of the mosquitos, hopefully they went back to Minnesota where they belong.

Tammy stopped by the bar yesterday, she was looking good, every time I filled the cooler I froze my ass off. Guess I need to start wearing a hat on this bald ass head of mine.

People of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths:


1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God’s chosen people.


2. Jews do not recognize Christ as the Messiah.


3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.


4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the Liquor Store.