Archive for October 21, 2015

10-21-15

Weather: 60’s today, then 50’s then 40’s, then 30’s.

What an eventful day yesterday was. t least my internet is fixed, this time hopefully for good. With new wiring from the pole all the way through the house I should be good for years to come.

Now for my chimney cleaning ordeal. I borrowed the equipment to run a brush down the chimney at my mom’s house, I carefully set up a ladder and proceeded up the roof. My chicken shit fat ass started shaking like a little sally and I had a hell of a time getting back on the ladder to get down. So much for that. Dancing Dave Neimi was kind enough to go up and complete the easy task of cleaning out the chimney. Easy, yea right. Nothing I start out to do is ever easy. The brush got so stuck in the chimney that Dave had to get a hydraulic jack to rig up on top and pull the shaft attached to the brush to get it unstuck. When plan “B” will start later in the week. But for now I guess we are lucky we didn’t burn Mom’s new house to the ground with a chimney fire.

 

10-20-15

Weather: 50’s then 40’s.

Internet problems again today. Replacing the line from the pole to the house this time. Might even be a wire rubbing against the tree. Maybe the forth time is a charm, everyone get pissed off at the cable companies, but in their defense I can say they have tried.

5pm Update; Replaced wire from the pole coming all the way into the house, a bad fitting on the pole was corroded, hopefully the problem is fixed for good and I won’t have any more excuse for doing a late report.

 

10-19-15

Weather: 50’s then 40’s.

Are you ready for some Football? What a weekend for football. First the Michigan, Michigan State game, then the Lions embarrassing the Bears. The Lions did everything to give the Bears the game but they still came out on top. It must really hurt to be a Bears fan right now, beat by an 0-5 team that tried to loose. (I know I didn’t make any friends on that one) Then you have the Packers, they give winning ugly a new home. But hey at least they are winning, and if they get health it may be a very good year for them. It seems like they just play good enough to win, but in the end that is all that counts. (I probably didn’t make any friends on that one either.

Male Logic!    
        
 
She was outside pulling weeds on a hot summer day when her husband walked up and asked her what they were having for dinner. 

Irritated by the thought of him sitting in the air conditioned house while she labored away on the weeds, she snapped, “I can’t believe you’re asking me about supper right now! Pretend I’m out of town, go inside and make dinner yourself!”

So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, potatoes, 
garlic bread, and a tall beer.

His wife walked in just about the time he was finishing up and asked, 
“Where’s my dinner?”

“Huh? I thought you were out of town.”

10-18-15

Weather: 50’s most of the week.

I spent some time with Becker last night. In fact we curled up on the couch and had movie night. We watched Hercules with Dwayne Johnson,  then another movie, then Becker said she wanted to watch 50 Shades of Grey with me. Becker had already seen the movie with Tammy one of our Bartenders. Why she made me watch such a shitty movie with one of the worst endings I have ever seen, I have no idea. Worse yet I don’t know what all the hoop la was about when that movie came out. It sucks, don’t get suckered into watching it. I told Becker from now on she is not allowed to pick movies or even use my remote control.

A little boy goes to his Dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’

Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.
Your mother is the administrator of the money,

so we call her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying,
so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.

So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and
sees his father in bed with the nanny..

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say’s to his father,
‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. ‘

The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words
what you think politics is all  about.’

The little boy replies, ‘The Prime Minister is screwing the

Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.
The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit.’

10-17-15

Weather: Warmer after today.

What to say today, not a lot going on, yesterday I fired up Mom’s wood furnace and filled the house with smoke. I checked the chimney first and it looked clear, but there were leaks in the stove pipe. Think I’ll get an experts opinion on how to go about taking the next steps.

Leaves are falling like crazy, I tried out the new leaf vac and it works pretty good. Think I’ll be working on that this afternoon.

 

SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE….

 

It takes less than 15 seconds..

If you are over 50 yrs old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer’s Test

How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks?

 

 

  1. _ _NDOM
  2. F_ _K
  3. P_N_S
  4. PU_S_
  5. S_X
  6. BOO_S

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answers:
1. RANDOM

  1. FORK
  2. PANTS
  3. PULSE
  4. SIX
  5. BOOKS

 

 

 

 

You got all 6 wrong…didn’t you?

 

 

 

OK!

The good news is you do NOT have Alzheimer’s.

But you are a pervert!

10-16-15

Weather: 38 for a high today.

I seen a few snow flakes last night, and today we are not even going to see 40 degrees. Yahoooo, tis getting closer to the season. I’m not sure how many more years I can do snowmobile season, or maybe I should just hire more young people to work it, but then I would miss all the fun. Besides, where else would I get the material to write this blog thing.

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.
I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me.
I thought to myself.,
“I really need a new fucking boat,”

10-15-15

Weather: 38 for a high tomorrow.

I think we have a heavier frost coming tomorrow. Almost half way through October, and it looks like our weather may be returning to normal.

I was watching that Hoda and Cathy Lee show yesterday and they had a guest on that mentioned Christmas, then he corrected himself and said to be politically correct he had to call it the holidays. WTF can’t let kids pray in school but you can give an adult a bible in prison. I only wish either Cathy Lee or Hoda would have said that they still call it Christmas. Last time I watch that show. I don’t want to be politically correct. MY RANT FOT THE DAY

Update: Becker got up and told me the guest was Frank Sinatra JR, she said Cathy Lee said she still calls it Christmas and so did Frank Sinatra Jr., guess I should have watched the whole thing instead of getting pissed off and leaving.

The colors are in full bloom. About a week later than usual this year. Take a ride up and see them for yourselves.

One day out on the golf course, a golfer accidentally overturned his golf cart.

A very attractive woman, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise, came out onto her balcony and called out to him, Hey, are you okay?
I’m fine, thanks,” he replied.
“You look frazzled, the woman said, Come up to my villa for a drink and I will help you get the cart up afterwards.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” he answered, But I don’t think my wife would like that.”
“Oh, come on, ” the woman, a gorgeous blond in a sexy bikini, insisted. I can see you’ve cut your head. It could be serious. Let me take care of that right away. I’m a nurse.
Image result for WOMAN ON BALCONY
She was very persuasive….and he was weak.
“Well okay,” he agreed, but added, “But my wife won’t like it.”
After she bandaged his wound, she gave him a most welcome brandy. They talked a little about golf and he discovered she was an avid golfer with a four handicap. When he confessed to a weakness in his putting, she gave him a putting lesson holding him close and intimately as she did so.
Finally he confessed, “I feel a lot better now, but I had better get going. I know my wife is going to be really upset with me being here with you.”
“Don’t be silly! the woman said with a smile, She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”
“Under the cart,” he replied.

 

10-14-15

Weather: Temps dropping this week and a bit of rain.

No report yesterday because of internet problems once again. Hopefully all is fixed now, they found a bad connection I guess. I was not here to Becker tried explaining to me what the problem was. After her telling me about the which-ma-giggies and whos-its I was just glad it was fixed. It was about a month and a half of the internet and phone going up and down.

Dr Phil updated his color ride tour Click here

IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG:
PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM.
YES, HE BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING OBAMA T-SHIRTS, EIGHT PEOPLE WEARING CLINTON T-SHIRTS,                                                                   16 PEOPLE WEARING TRUMP T-SHIRTS, TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP MUSIC BLARING FROM                                                                              THEIR VEHICLES, FOUR JEHOVAH WITNESSES, TWO MORMONS, NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING
PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS, THREE FLAG-BURNERS .

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bMd9EphPL-k/UX7-omYQxXI/AAAAAAAALJ4/m
FOR THE LAST TIME. . .THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!

NO, I DO NOT APPROVE OF HIS SMOKING, BUT HE SAYS IT HELPS GET THE “BAD TASTE” OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

10-12-15

Weather: Temps dropping this week and a bit of rain.

Two cement planters were taken off of a grave at the cemetery here in Bergland. Hopefully they will be returned, or drop them off over by the old hotel and I will make sure they get back where they belong. Pretty damn uncool to mess with a cemetery, I wouldn’t want to answer for that one some day.

It hit like 86 degrees yesterday but it is going to be back to reality this week. Temps are dropping and a little rain in the forecast for the week.

INTERESTING OBSERVATION



1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.


  2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The  sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.


  5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

And…

  6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.    


THE amazing facts are,

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

There must be a boat load of people in Washington playing marbles.

 

10-11-15

Weather: High 70’s and sunny today.

What looked like a good day for a grouse hunt yesterday turned out to be windy as hell. The grouse were far and few between, and for the first time in the 8 years wee have had the tournament, no one came in with their limit. Out of 16 teams 13 did bring in at least one bird to weigh in. It didn’t look like it dampered the spirits of the hunters though, everyone was happy and having a good time.

Near 80 degrees today, but look out next week, highs are only in the 40’s by next weekend. Oh well, tis getting to be the season.

Three  Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin’ the  breeze.

1st Hillbilly  says: “My wife sure is stupid!…She bought an air  conditioner.  “

2nd Hillbilly  says: “Why is that  stupid?”

1st Hillbilly  says: “We ain’t got no  ‘lectricity!”

2nd  Hillbilly says: “That’s nothin’! My wife is so  stupid, she bought one of  
them new fangled  warshin ‘  machines!”

1st Hillbilly  says: “Why is that so stupid?”  

2nd Hillbilly  says: “‘Cause we ain’t got no  plummin’!”

3rd Hillbilly  says: “That ain’t nuthin’! My wife is dumber than both yer  
wifes put  together! I was going through her purse the other day  lookin’ fer  
some change,  and I found 6 condoms in  thar.”
 
1st and 2nd  Hillbillies say: “Well, what’s so dumb about that?”  

3rd Hillbilly  says: “She ain’t got no  pecker.