Archive for December 31, 2015


Weather: Highs are below freezing at least.

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New Years Eve morning and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse,

The sleds were all filled with some gas and some oil, Only with not enough snow their trip would then spoil
My renters were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of snow storms danced in their heads.

Well I’m bored if you can’t tell, and running out of things to write on here. Seems like every year we struggle with different circumstances. This is by far the worst start we have had to snowmobile season in the 9 years Becker and I have had the bar. One thing I have learned living in the UP, you’ll never get rich but it seems like something always happens where you get by.

Forecasts don’t look promising 10 days out, but it is the UP and things change over night. Hopefully they change quick. But we can not control the weather. On a positive note temps are still staying below freezing for highs, although some sub zero stuff would really be nice.

The Lake continues to build ice, although I would not recommend venturing out there. I would think the idea of celebrating New years in two different time zones this year would be out of the question. Don’t chance it. Pick a place to go for New Years tonight and stay there. Better safe than sorry. 

Happy New Years everyone from the Bay Bar, and I hope we get a chance to see you in January.

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Weather: Highs are below freezing at least.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

Well at least we are not melting. Still in the teens at night and 20’s during the day. We are seeing a few groups a day coming in for beefs. They are just happy to ride a little with the conditions we presently have. Riders coming to us are either coming up 109 I think it is from Watersmeet or 3 from the north and coming in 8 from Bruce crossing. 

I think it’s time for a perfect storm. (-20 and 12+ inches)

A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant “Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients”.
“Yes, sir!” answers Murphy.
The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: “So, Murphy, how was your day?”
Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. “The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol…”
“Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?” asks the doctor.
“The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir” says Murphy.
“Bravo, bravo! You’re good at this and what about the third one?” asks the doctor.
“Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does.  Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: ‘HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'”
“Tunderin’ lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?” asks the doctor.
“I put drops in her eyes.”


Weather: WTF Mother Nature, you missed?

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I’m speechless this morning. Looking out the window we only got a trace of snow. A trace? Watersmeet and Paulding got some but we got skunked.

I am getting a few riders in, I’m not saying to come up, those that are riding are making the best of it. I had a group in yesterday that came from Houghton, via Bruce Crossing way. They said it was passable and more like early season riding.

On a positive note: wet areas will freeze better without all the damn snow we were supposed to get. And walleye fishing has been very good on Lake Gogebic.

After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. “Son, when I first got married to your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was take off my pants. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were huge on her and she said that she couldn’t wear them because they were too large. I said to her, ‘Of course they are too big for you, I wear the pants in this family and I always will.’ Ever since that day, son, we have never had a single problem.” Brian took his dad’s advice and did the same thing to his wife on his wedding night. Then, Jill took off her panties and gave them to Brian. “Try these on,” she said. Brian went along with it and tried them on, but they were far too small. “What’s the point of this? I can’t get into your panties,” said Brian. “Exactly,” Jill replied, “and if you don’t change your attitude, you never will!”


Weather: Snow on the way?

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Snow supposed to be coming in tonight. A few flurries are falling now but the heaviest stuff is coming in after midnight. How much we will just have to wait and see. Weather Underground has us at 2-6″, NWS has us at 5.5″ and John Dee has not updated his sight as of yet. He usually does by 10am.

My brother Pat took a ride from Merriweather and said he didn’t make it too far in any direction he went. Still a lot of wet spots on the trails. But temps are still remaining below freezing for 10 days out. If only Mother Nature would send some sub zero temps our way.

I talked to riders that made it to Kenton from Bergland and they said they had enough snow. Also had a crew down from White Pine, they said it was a little wet but they made it. Not many sleds in this past weekend, but we have had a few. Hopefully snow and cold improves conditions and I can say those five words you all love to hear (GET YOU’RE ASSES UP HERE), but not yet, conditions don’t even rate a poor yet.

Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he hasn’t bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, “How much is that Barbie in the window?” In a condescending manner, she says, “Which Barbie?” She continues, “We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00.” Ralph asks, “Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?” “That’s obvious,” the saleslady says. “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house in the UP, Ken’s truck, Ken’s snowmobile trailer, Ken’s snowmobiles…”


Weather: Got a little snow.

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Not to sure how to measure the snow we received. Had 3 people in yesterday that ran to Ewen from Bergland and back and the said there was enough on the grade and didn’t hit any rocks. we probably did get a good 6 to 8 inches maybe a little more, but about half of it was lake effect snow. Temps are staying below freezing for highs and into the teens at night. Tuesday and Wednesday there is a chance for a little more in the forecast. Running the grade out to Ewen would be do able but not sure how far east you would be able to go. I just heard Hoppys had sleds in last night, so it is possible the grade is rideable to Kenton.

Ice shacks are starting to pop up on the Lake buy by no means chance going out there. The Lake just froze over last week, local residents know where the ice is thicker and where they can place their shacks. DO NOT venture out onto the Lake.

Got requests for beefs yesterday so I am going to throw on some for this afternoon. I may be a little late getting to the bar today. Going to take Mom to church and pray for cold weather and snow.

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, “Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn’t five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!” The doctor says, “I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.” “Nah,” she says, “that’s okay. We’re never going back to that restaurant anyway.”


Weather: Snow falling.

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Well Merry Christmas is over, time for fricken winter to start. Any day now Mother Nature. There is a little snow falling though as I write, 1-3, 3-5, 4-8 inches, who knows what we will get for sure. Every weather site says something different. You don’t know who to believe, king of sounds like politics. We have some snow in the forecast for the next few days, i’m sure the woods are still pretty wet, but with lower temps things should start to improve some. Riding the grades for New Years weekend may be possible, but running the trails still may be a little early. We just have to take it day by day. We need a deep freeze.
A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown
Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them. “Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks. Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, “I don’t think they know who we are; show them your cross.”

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, “Piss off, ya fookin’ little wankers, before I come over there and rip yer balls off!”

Sister Mary Immaculata then rolls up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asks, “Did that sound cross enough?



Weather: Freezing temps for a week.

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Merry Christmas

Freezing temps for highs as far as the eyes can see. That’s the good news, actually not much snow in the forecast is good too, it is easier for the ground and the lake to freeze without the snow acting as an insulation blanket. But no snow means all you guys and gals are at home instead of being here in the UP. That’s the bad news. Santa didn’t bring the snow so I am taking Mom to church today and I will ask the Big Guy if he can help us out.

I’ve gotten a couple emails asking about our trails being closed. Technically I don’t think they are closed, I think it is their way of saying most of them are unrideable. The only place I hear of anyone riding is north of Twin Lakes, and then it is only about a 20 mile stretch heading north. It is definitely not wort the trip right now, the Lake is not ready to ride either. Hold on, we will get there, just not there yet.



Weather: Windy, temps headed in the right direction.

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Merry Christmas Eve

We had rain yesterday, and maybe a few inches of snow. Hard to tell, winds are pretty strong. But we did get a little, and the rain sitting on top of the ice hopefully turned into more ice. Kind of hard to be positive with this weather we have been having. But it looks like after Saturday we can say bye to the 30’s for a while. It looks like the last week of December may drop a little snow our way along with the temps falling below freezing for highs. Hopefully we will see a few of you up here for New Years, weather permitting of course.


Who’s jolly and cute,

Wearing a beard and a red
flannel suit,

And if he is chuckling and
laughing away,

While flying around in a
miniature sleigh,

With eight tiny reindeer to pull
him along,

Then let’s face it…

You’re probably drunk!

Merry Christmas and   a Happy 2016

Adults onlyNUDE SANTA —–

Scroll down to see the nude Santa

























For crying out loud.  Act your age.  There is no Santa!

Sometimes I worry about you!!!  Now go and get some work done!!!


Weather: YUK.

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Let’s get by today and then the temps remain below freezing for a while. How bout some below zero there Mother Nature? Merry Christmas Eve-Eve. Only 2 days till Christmas, have Santa bring us cold and snow.

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Weather: Colder.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

Opps, I missed a day, Becker and I went to the casino Sunday night and I left my computer at the bar. Sorry bout that. Not like there was anything to report, but I do get shit when I miss a day LOL.

I had a snowmobiler in yesterday. First non local of the season. Today he trailered up to Twin Lakes. I called Beer Belly Bob and asked for his expert advice on whether to send him to Greenland to unload or head to Twin Lakes.

Temperatures are still putting a hurt on us. It would be nice if after Wednesday we didn’t see above freezing temps for a long long time. A little snow may be headed our way early next week. We can only hope, and Pray……..

Dear Abby,
My husband hasn’t worked for the last 14 years. All he does is get dressed in the morning and hop in his fancy car to visit his cronies.  I know he’s cheated on me many times with young girls who could be his granddaughters.
I know because he brags about this to me. He smokes fancy cigars and drinks the most expensive Champagne day and night. We sleep in separate beds because he’s always telling me he knows I’m a lesbian and my varicose veins and hairy back turn him off!
Should I clobber him with my frying pan or should I leave him, Abby?
Your advice would be appreciated…..
Mad as Hell
Dear Mad as Hell,
You don’t have to take that kind of treatment from any man. I suggest you pack your bags and move out a.s.a.p.! Don’t resort to clobbering him with the frying pan, and try to act like a lady!
Remember ……. you’re running for President of the United States, so try acting like one!