5-5-16

Weather: Sunny.

Beautiful weather ahead of us. 80 tomorrow and a Sloppy Hoppy or 2. Gonna take an atv ride to Kenton. Might even get a little yard work in today, with a lot of emphasis on the little.

Gus was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem. In response, the doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself.”

That same day Gus went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to Becky. At home, he found Becky was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position. Gus, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.

The next day, Gus went back to the doctor. The doctor asked, “How did it go?”

“Well, not as I’d expected. When I fired the pistol, Becky shit on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air.”

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