Archive for October 18, 2016


Weather: Sunshine.

Sunny today, figures, I have to work. Becker’s appointment went well yesterday, 6 down and only 34 more to go. It will be December before we know it. Becker will be finished up in no time.

4 Husbands

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20’s, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40’s, and a preacher when in her 60’s, and now – in her 80’s – a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.

(Wait for it)

She smiled and explained,

“I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.”


Weather: Gloomy.

Seems like everyday I work it is nice outside, then everyday I am off it is gloomy or rainy. So plan your outdoor festivities around the days I work. Pretty safe bet you will have sunshine.

Off to Iron Mountain this morning with Becker, 1st week is done and only 7 more to go. (Hey Julie Becker says thanks for the cream, and she is using some now that I didn’t know about). Her first week or Radiation was a bit shaky, by Friday Becker told me she has a system down in her head to get through the treatments. Being strapped down with her face covered didn’t go to well at first. Guess I’ll never get to use the handcuffs and blind fold I was going to surprise her with. Thanks for all of the well wishes, cards and prayers, Becker has this one, no problem.

Hi Bob, This is Alan next door.


I have a confession to make. I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, 

but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.

The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you. 

I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that’s no excuse, I know.

The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won’t happen again.

Please suggest a fee for usage, and I’ll pay you.

Regards, Alan.



Bob, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He took out his phone where he saw he has a subsequent message from his neighbor:



Hi Bob, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last text.

I expect you figured it out anyway, & that you noticed that darned Autocorrect changed ‘Wi-Fi’ To ‘Wife’. Technology hey?

Regards, Alan. 


Weather: Gloomy.

Off this morning to get Becker. SO I gotta run.




Weather: Gloomy.

Not much going on, the Boys from Illinois are up 4 wheeling, hopefully they all come home home in one piece. With all the rain at least the trails won’t be dusty.

Brothers Mark and Scott are up helping get Mom’s house ready for winter. I gotta get over there and supervise I guess.



Weather: Gloomy.

Headed to Ironwood Airport this morning to pick up Brother Scott this morning. $154 round trip from Chicago. I took the flight once, cool plane ride, a little 8 seater.

Ray came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, ‘You died in your sleep, Ray.’

Ray was stunned. ‘I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!’

St. Peter said, ‘I’m sorry, but there’s only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.’

Ray was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. ‘So, you’re the new hen, huh? How’s your first day here?’

‘Not bad,’ replied Ray the hen, ‘but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I’m gonna explode!’

‘You’re ovulating,’ explained the rooster. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before?’

‘Never,’ said Ray.

‘Well, just relax and let it happen,’ says the rooster. ‘It’s no big deal. He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg – his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard…..

“Ray, wake up! You shit the bed!”

Getting OLD just ain’t what they said it would be!


Weather: Gloomy.

I guess I missed Monday’s post, I har to take Becker to Iron Mountain. She started her radiation, only 39 treatments to go. It is going to be tough on her, but they are very confident the radiation will give her more than a 90% chance of kicking the cancer’s ass.

The Grouse tournament last Saturday was a big hit, we had 18 teams. Lots of food was left over, thank you Ginger from Antonios for making the mosticholli and chicken.

I found myself in a pub in Cork , Ireland.
A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice,
“I hear you Irish think you’re great drinkers.
I bet $5,000 that no one here can drink 20 pints
of Guinness in 30 minutes.”
The bar was silent, but the American noticed one
Irishman leaving. No one took up the bet.
40 minutes later, the Irishman who left returned and said,
“Hey Yank, is yer bet still on?”
“Sure” said the American, “20 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of $5,000.”
Grand, “replied the Irishman, “so pour the pints and start the clock.”
It was very close but the last drop was consumed with 2 seconds to spare.
“OK Yank, pay up.” said the Irishman.
“I’m happy to pay, here’s your money” said the American.
“But tell me, when I first offered the wager, I saw you leave. Where did you go?
“Well sir”, replied the Irishman, “$5,000 is a lot of money to a man like me,
so I went to the pub across the road first to see if I could do it.


Weather: Gloomy.

Opps, skipped a day again. Stupid ass flu crap had me in bed all day. Maybe I’ll get smart and go see a doctor. Or maybe I’ll just go on bitching about not feeling good.

Grouse Tournament is tomorrow, start in the morning and be in by 6pm to weigh your birds. Good Luck Hunters.


One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn’t walk to church.

The preacher said, ”If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.”

So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart.

The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his penis.

The old woman looked over and said, ”He said he could heal, not raise the dead!”


Weather: Gloomy.

Well I finally get a day off and the weather turns to crap. Maybe I’ll just work again today. Temps seem to be coming down a little, but we need a good frost. Need to get the cold to set in before the snow starts.


A leprechaun walks into a bar. After several pitchers of beer, the leprechaun runs over to a large, mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all over his legs. The guy reaches out to grab the leprechaun, only to miss him as he jumps back to his seat.

“If you know what’s good for you, don’t come near me again, or I’ll rip off your little tallywagger,” yells the mean-looking guy.

After a few more pitchers, the leprechaun runs over to the mean-looking guy, sticks out his tongue and spits all over his legs again. This time, the guy successfully catches the leprechaun.

“All right, I’ve got you this time. I warned you — now I’m gonna rip off your little tallywagger!”

The leprechaun laughs, “You can’t do that.”

“Why not?” asks his captor.

“Because,” giggles the leprechaun, “leprechauns don’t have tallywaggers.”

“Whadda ya mean you don’t have a tallywagger?” growls the angry man, “How in the hell do you pee?”

“Just like this,” laughs the leprechaun as he sticks out his tongue and spits.

Looking for Groomer Drivers

Gogebic Area Grooming is looking for a few groomer drivers. If interested get a hold of George at the Hoop or email Mark Hanson from Timberline Sports at


Weather: Sunny.

Another beautiful day in the UP, cooler this weekend though. Saturday looks cold and rainy, nice weather for our 9th annual Grouse Tournament. I still have a lot of openings, stop in and sign up.



The  longer you’ve been married, the funnier this  becomes!

An  elderly married couple was at home watching TV.
The husband  had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing  channel and the porn channel.
The wife became more and more  annoyed and finally said: “For god’s sake! Leave it on the  porn channel. You already know how to fish!”