7-17-17

Weather: Beautiful, looks like a nice week.

Becker’s birthday week, I’m taking her out of town for a few days. We are heading down to The House on the Rock. Looks like a nice week weather wise, a little rain maybe but mostly sunshine.

I’m not sure if I’m going to have internet access so here are a few jokes to tie you over.

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. 
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great I would recommend it very highly.’ 
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’ 
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What’s the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’s red and has thorns.’ 
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’ 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. 
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘She’s still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A man was telling his neighbour, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.’ 
‘Really,’ answered the neighbour. ‘What kind is it?’ 
Twelve thirty.’ 

 

 

 

 

 

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ 
‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’

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