Archive for August 4, 2017

8-4-17

Weather: gloomy again.

Going way up into the 60’s today and then a heat wave of 70’s for a week. Summer seems like it just got here and now it is going fast. Work today and tomorrow, then off for 5 days. Guess it may be getting time to star getting ready to put things away for winter soon. Yea I’m rushing it a bit, but I love the Fall in the UP.

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences. Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

‘Well,’ he said, ‘I took m’self far into the woods to find m’self a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothin’ to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, and he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.’

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, ‘WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don’t sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God’s HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: “Looking back on it, ….circumcision may not have been the best way to start.”

8-3-17

Weather: gloomy.

High of 57 degrees today, I wanted it to cool off but 57degrees? Happy August in the UP I guess. I am getting closer with the new web site, www.tomstrailreport.com it should be up soon, as soon as I get the calander for the rentals up and running I can start taking reservations for this winter, I have some emails and I will take them in the order that I get them, hopefully next week we can get them done.

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin engine aircraft.   A moment later the tower land line rang and was answered by one of the employees.The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone and yelled “Mayday, mayday!! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside down at 18,000 feet and traveling at 180 mph. Mayday, mayday!!” The employee in the tower had put him on speaker phone immediately.   “Calm down, we acknowledge you and we’ll guide you down after a few questions.  The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!!”. He began his series of questions:  Tower:   “How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet?”  Aircraft:   “I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the Altimeter dial in front of me.” Tower:   “Okay, that’s good, remain calm. How do you know you’re traveling at 180 mph?” Aircraft:   “I can see that it reads 180 mph on the Airspeed dial in front of me.”  Tower:   Okay, this is great so far, but it’s heavily overcast, so how do you know you’re flying upside down?”Aircraft” “The shit in my pants is running out of my shirt collar.”

 

Weather: A bit gloomy.

Someone turned on the air conditioning in the UP, thank you 60 and 70’s for the next week. Now we are getting back to normal.