Archive for Jokes


Weather: Hot the next few days then back to the 60’s.

UP weather, gotta love it.

AIRCRAFT HITS 4 BUILDINGS Reported to be a Marine Pilot ]
This is tough to see.  It just shows the dangers of attending these events.  Amazing photo below shows great detail.
The pilot at low level had no control over his aircraft.   It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for the air show & slams into four buildings.
One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings.


Weather: Crappy

Mother Nature just could help herself, lots of rainy days here. Looks good for tomorrow though. ATV riding should be at it finest, no dust.


It’s A VERY BIG Number

If I give you $1 billion and you stand on a street corner handing out $1 per second, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, you would still not have handed out $1 billion after 31 years!
Now read on. This is too true to be funny.
The next time you hear a politician use the word ‘billion’ in a casual manner, think about whether you want the ‘politicians’ spending YOUR tax money.
A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.
1. A billion seconds ago, it was 1959.
2. A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.
3. A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
4. A billion days ago, no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
5. A billion Dollars ago was only 13 hours and 12 minutes, at the rate our present government is spending it.
We are charged:
· Stamp Duty
· Tobacco Tax
· Corporate Income Tax
· Income Tax
· Council Tax
· Unemployment Tax
· Fishing License Tax
· Petrol/Diesel Tax
· Inheritance Tax (tax on top of tax)
· Alcohol Tax
· G.S.T.
· Property Tax
· Purchase Property Tax
· Tax on Title Searches
· Tax on Building Inspections
· Tax on supplements
· Taxes on various food items
· Taxes on Dining out
· Tax on all utilities – Phone, hydro, water, waste disposal
· Service charge taxes
· Social Security Tax
· Vehicle License / Registration Tax
· Vehicle Sales Tax
· Workers Compensation Tax
· And now Carbon Tax
AND I’m sure you can think of more……
Not one of these taxes existed 60 years ago, and our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt.
We had the largest middle class in the world. A criminal’s life was uncomfortable… now they’re in the Senate and both sides of the House. What on earth happened?
I hope this goes around CANADA, the USA and beyond 1 billion times!


Weather: Highs in the teens the next few days.

Conditions: Not there yet

First sledders I seen this year, naturally me being the over excited dumb ass that I am, I didn’t get their names or where they were from. They may be better off though, ecpecially if they called in sick for work today.


Weather: Highs in the teens the next few days.

Conditions: Not there yet

Things look to be shaping up. By no means does it look great or even good yet but it is looking better. We probably got 6-8 inches of snow so far. But the better news is cold is going to settle in on us for a while. Starting Tuesday we are looking at single digits for a high and negatives for lows. I’m sure the bar is going to see a few sleds this weekend, hopefully next week will be a little better.

I am going to work on the rentals this weekend, check the calendars and make your reservations. I think we are going to start seeing some of you pretty soon.

The Indians asked their Chief in Autumn if the Winter was going to be cold or not. Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the Winter was going to be cold with lots of snow and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, “Is this winter to be cold?” The man on the phone responded, “This Winter is going to be quite cold indeed.” So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, “Is it going to be a very cold winter?” “Yes”, the man replied, “it’s going to be a very cold Winter.” So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find. Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: “Are you absolutely sure that the Winter is going to be very cold?” “Absolutely,” the man replies, “the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!”


Weather: Gloomy, but who cares.

Becker is doing good. After tomorrow she will have 3 weeks down and only 5 more to go. Enough about her, let me tell you about my day yesterday.

There I was driving down the road leaving Bergland, the temp was 40 degrees and it was drizzling. The further east I drove the temp was dropping, 39, then 38, then 37, by the time it hit 36 degrees the rain drops on the windshield started to change shape. Could it be? Oh yes, by the time it hit 35 degrees that beautiful white shit was falling from the heavens. Even though it didn’t stick nor did the roads get slick, I was driving through snow, the first snowfall of the year. I think I even got a chubby.

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM.
The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up.
Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?”
“I don’t know, some dumb bitch asking if the coast is clear.”


Weather: Beautiful.

Around 60 today but shitty after that. Guess that is why they say you have to live for today. Not much going on, so I will just leave you with a little political humor.

My Mommy, The Dancer

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children in her class what their mothers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up — teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, So when the teacher gently prodded him about his mother, He replied, “Well my mother’s an exotic dancer in a club and takes off all her clothes in front of men, and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money.”

The teacher, obviously shaken by this bold statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to quietly ask him, “Is that really true about your mother, dear?”

Nope,” the boy said, “She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that In front of the other kids.”


Weather: 70’s and windy. Goodbye snow.

Trail Conditions: You will have to see for yourself. I have to work.

The snow is no match for warm weather and wind, tune in to the web cams today and watch the snow banks just melt in front of your eyes.

I’m beat, crawling around on the floor painting is getting the best of me. Or could it be the bush lights while I am working that is getting the best of me LOL. The paint job is coming together, slow but sure, tile is going in tomorrow, well starting to go in anyway. We are going to be closed Monday through Wednesday, Thursday we will be opening with a new face lift.

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

  My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said ‘nothing’. The reason I said that instead of saying ‘just thinking’ is because she would have said ‘about what’. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

  Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?  Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.  Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.  A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, “I think it would be nice to have

another child.”

  On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”

  I rest my case.

  Time for another beer.

Off to work

Weather: into the 80’s

Trail Conditions: Dusty on the grades

Took a ride to Barraga last night with Becker, I guess cause it was her birthday.  Yep the ole gal is 60.  Didn’t win but didn’t loose, so I guess you can consider that winning.  I’m going to go work on the web cam today, wish me luck.

A little boy came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically,so he asked his dad. His dad said, “Well, go ask your mom if she would sleep with the mail man for $1,000,000.” He went and asked and came back and said, “She said yes”. “Well”, said the dad, “Go ask your sister the same question.” He did and came back and said, “She said yes.” And the dad said, “Now go ask your brother the same thing.” He did and came back and said, “He said yes too!” And the dad said, “Well hypothetically we’re sitting on three million dollars, realistically we’re living with 2 whores and a gay guy!”

Thunder and Lightning again

Weather: Gloomy but warm

Trail Conditions: Grades are good, it will be a while for the woods to melt and dry off though

Dr Phil is feverishly working to get the Lake Gogebic Chamber of Commerce’s web cam at the Hoop working again.  It seems some of the service providers up here like to complement the shit out of things for no apparent reason.  But give ole Dr. Phil an hour or so and he will have the Hoop’s web cam back online.

Another gloomy day up here, thunder and lightning last night again.  Check out the grass outside, it is even greener this morning.  A good day to get some things done around the house, so when it gets nice, Becker and i can go play on the Commander.

PS Hi Princess, miss you, tell John he is still a Hottie in my book…..


Note found of refrigerator 

My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don’t be upset I shall be home before midnight.


When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table: 
My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to 
remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. 
As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. 
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Step on a Duck

Three guys got into a car crash and all died. They all get up to heaven and meet St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter said “Okay everyone can come in, but whatever you do don’t step on a duck.” The gates open and there are ducks everywhere, all over the floor, on tabletops, everywhere. The first guy walks in and accidentally steps on a duck. St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the ugliest woman in all the world and says, “Now you must stay handcuffed for all eternity.” The other two see this and do their best not avoid the ducks. The second guy goes months and months without stepping on any duck. Then one morning he wakes up and as he is getting out of bed he steps on two ducks. St. Peter comes over and handcuffs him to the most atrocious looking and smelling woman and says, “Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity.” Now the third guy goes years and years and doesn’t step on any ducks in all that time. Then one day St. Peter comes along and handcuffs him to the most beautiful woman he as ever seen. St. Peter says, “Now you must stay handcuffed to each other for all eternity.” The guy happily says, “Oh my God, what have I done to deserve this?!” And the woman says, “I don’t know what the fuck you did, but I stepped on a fucking duck.” ha ha!