1-29-15 10:00pm

Weather: Flurries (yea just flurries) and colder

Trail Conditions: Good to OK to Bad

I’m leaving bad up there because I heard 13 south still sucks. But tonight I heard 8 east was better, 8 west was getting groomed late today and 1 south will probably be done to as I speak. Or write. So in general our trails should be getting a lot better, cold is here to stay for a while, now all we need is snow. Oh yea, and you guys, you can find good riding, time to get your asses up here.

Hey Ann, I purchased a weather station that I am going to hook up to the bar, and send info to weather underground. In should be in next week, so anytime you look up Bergland on weather underground you will be getting the weather from Bergland instead of Wakefield.

 

Snowmobile Detour the red shows were the trail was and the green is showing the detour. Using the Lake will get you into Bergland the fastest when coming from the west. This will be the route for the rest of the year, they are doing work on the closed section.

A guy named Joe received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Joe arrived at the stadium, he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium, he’s closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.

 

About halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, Joe asks the gentleman sitting next to him, “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?”

 

The man says “No.”

 

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Joe again inquires of the man next to him, “This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!”

 

The man replies, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven’t been together at since we got married in 1967.”

 

“Well, that’s really sad,” said Joe, “but still, you couldn’t find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?” 

 

“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”

 

1-29-15 8:30am

Weather: Temps dropping through out today and a couple inches of snow tonight is likely

Trail Conditions: Good to OK to Bad

Ann thanks again for the thermometer, but I had a problem, the blue face would not pick up on the web cam. Dan brought in a white faced thermometer that I put up. Thank you both very much for thinking of us.

Only click on the google ads if you are interested in the products they advertise, it looks like some readers are clicking a bunch of times and google is going to get pissed at me.

As far as trail conditions go, I really can’t say, I took yesterday off. Outside of going down to Fish Tales for lunch, I was in bed all day. The pics Mike posted on trail 8 looked great, let’s hope the rest of our trails are just as flat. I’ll post conditions later tonight after I talk with riders that come in today.

 

Snowmobile Detour the red shows were the trail was and the green is showing the detour. Using the Lake will get you into Bergland the fastest when coming from the west. This will be the route for the rest of the year, they are doing work on the closed section.

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to
spice up her dead sex-life.  She puts them on, together with a short
skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband sipping a glass of wine.
 
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs wide enough that her husband asks,
“Are you wearing crotchless panties?”
 
“Y-e-s,” she answers with a seductive smile.
 
“Thank God – I thought you were sitting on the cat.”

He never saw the glass coming

1-28-15 11:30am

Weather: A little warmer, temps going down starting Thursday

Trail Conditions: Good to OK to Bad

Trail 8 east was still rough as of yesterday afternoon, I heard a groomer went out that way late yesterday, hopefully he can get the chops out of it. 13 north I heard was bad yesterday too.

I am getting more calls at the bar about bare trails and broke groomers. All I can say is our trails are not bare and our club’s groomers are all running. We have plenty of snow. Trail conditions have been changing daily, warmer temps and weekend traffic have been a big factor, we just can’t seem to get a good flat trail froze in on some of the routes like 8 east and 13. Just ask where to go when you get up here, snow is in the forecast and we are long overdue. (fingers crossed)

Snowmobile Detour the red shows were the trail was and the green is showing the detour. Using the Lake will get you into Bergland the fastest when coming from the west. This will be the route for the rest of the year, they are doing work on the closed section.

The home phone rings and
the wifeanswers.
A pervert, with heavy breathing, says:
I bet you have a tight ass, with no hair.
The woman replies:   Why Yes, I have.
He’s watching TV… whom shall I say is calling? 

 

1-27-15 9:30am

Weather: Becker got a couple inches yesterday. Opps I meant Bergland

Trail Conditions: Good to OK?

Conditions are getting better, finally we got a few inches of snow too. I haven’t heard about 102 conditions, but that trail should be getting better. 13 north is always a challenge, seems when our end is done Rockland’s is rough. I would use 8 east to 3 to go north, it has been better all year. Cold air is coming in for the weekend with a chance for a few more inches and then Possible LES for next week.

A shout out to the 3rd Shift Crew, hey Crazy hair Cosmo Kramer, why doesn’t Iowa have a professional football team? Because if Iowa had one, Minnesota would want one too.

Snowmobile Detour the red shows were the trail was and the green is showing the detour. Using the Lake will get you into Bergland the fastest when coming from the west. This will be the route for the rest of the year, they are doing work on the closed section.

An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2am and was asked where he was going at that time of night.

The man replied, “ I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out too late.”

 

The office then asked, “Really?  Who’s giving that lecture at this time of night?”

 

The man replied, “That would be my wife.”

 

1-25-15 11:30pm

Weather: Cooler, then after Thursday temps drop, hopefully Monday morning we awaken to a few fresh inches of snow.

Trail Conditions: Trails were better today, keep on grooming guys.

Big improvement overall but we got a ways to go to get the trails in good shape. Hopefully we get better every day now.

My little house is open the next few days, give me a buzz if it fits into your schedule.

Trail 8 detour starts tomorrow, Snowmobile Detour the red shows were the trail was and the green is showing the detour. Using the Lake will get you into Bergland the fastest when coming from the west. This will be the route for the rest of the year, they are doing work on the closed section.

Thanks to a lovely Lady name Ann on the east shore we have a new thermometer on the porcupine.  Ann sent her husband into the bar with it so I would replace the one that was not working. Tonight I got a chance to go out there and holy crap, I thought I was going to die. After I climbed the snow bank I kept falling over into 3-4 foot of snow going up the side of the yard. I ended up rolling up the hill to replace the thermometer. All out of breath and panting like a dog who just ran 5 miles in 105 degree heat before I was done. I think that I need to give up the smokes. Thank you very much Ann, we got it done.

A shout out from the Henchmen to the boys back home.

I got an email from Marv from Wisconsin today telling me he blew out his knee riding on the bumpy trails this weekend. Below is a picture of his x-ray. I hope you get better soon Marv.

IMG_0379

 

1-25-15 10am

Weather: Cold at last

Trail Conditions: Hopefully we see an improvement today

I don’t think the groomers were out yesterday because of the high temps. Our trails were not in good shape over the weekend. Hopefully we can get them in lot better shape with temps getting back down starting Thursday night. There is even a hint of a few inches of snow coming in tonight or tomorrow.

Trail 8, Snowmobile Detour the red shows were the trail was and the green is showing the detour. Using the Lake will get you into Bergland the fastest when coming from the west. This will be the route for the rest of the year, they are doing work on the closed section.

The after party for the Walleye Lodge’s Fishing Tournament will be at the bar early this afternoon. I will probably not be able to serve food until later in the afternoon.

A husband and wife in Minneapolis were listening to the radio during breakfast.

 
They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the
snow plows can get through.” So the good wife went out and moved her car.
 
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow plows can get through.” The good wife went out and moved her car again.
 
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park….” Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow plows can get through?”
 
Then with the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave the car in the garage this time.”

kevin sorg

Kevin Sorg call me at the bergland bay bar if you lost a credit card

1-24-15 10:30 am

Weather: Getting colder later today

Trail Conditions: Probably poor to bad

Mixed feelings yesterday by riders, a lot of ok’s and some WTF’s. Trails were soft with the warm temps and in a lot of cases I think that made for a smoother ride. I think the biggest disappointment has been trail 8 east. It has been getting very rough by the end of the day, until you hit Ewen that is, then it smooths out. Temps will drop by later today, hopefully then it will get better.

Thanks to everyone that made last night turn into a hell of a party, power went out from Wakefield to Bergland from about 5:45 pm till 1:15 am, I thought I was going to be able to close early and get some rest, but instead people kept piling in. Candles, propane lights and a generator lit up the place and powered the juke box. We had a blast.

A gas station owner was trying to increase his sales, so he put up a sign that read, “Free Sex with Fill-Up.”


Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank, and asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex.
The Texan guessed 8, but the proprietor said, “You were close. The number was 7.  Sorry. No sex this time.”

A week later, the same redneck, along with his brother, Jimmy, pulled in for another fill-up.  Again he asked for his free sex.
The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The Texan guessed 2.
The proprietor said, “Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.”

As they were driving away, the Texan said to his brother, “I think that game is rigged, and that he doesn’t really give away free sex.”

Jimmy replied, “No! It ain’t rigged! My wife won twice last week.”

1-23-15 9am

Weather: Shitty. Freezing rain and drizzle early today.

Trail Conditions: Good to poor

Most riders said trails were good to OK yesterday. Today’s high is mid 30’s but after that temps are going back down. Next week is showing signs of possible snow coming to our area. Bout damn time. Most riders I think are just happy to be riding and making the best of conditions right now.

Now for the detour of trail 8, Snowmobile Detour the red shows were the trail was and the green is showing the detour. Using the Lake will get you into Bergland the fastest when coming from the west. This will be the route for the rest of the year, they are doing highline work on the closed section.

A couple of shout outs,

The Manteno Boys say the trails were great and Harms is a tight ass.

Train and Phelan say Linko is a puss. I think they miss you buddy.

An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.

The female doctor says,”I’m going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side,bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say,

’99’.
The old guy obeys and says,
“99”.
The doctor says, “Great”, now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say,
’99”.
Again, the old guy says,
99′.”
The doctor said, “Very good”.Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I’m going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I’m going to hold on to your penis
to keep it out of the way.
Now take a deep breath and say,
’99’
The old guy begins,
 “One…two…three…”
REMEMBER,You don’t stop laughing because you grow old;You grow old because you stop laughing!

 

1-22-15 12:01 am

Weather: Temps in the 20’s for a high the next few days then a little warmer for the weekend

Trail Conditions: Good to poor

I was a little harsh on Wednesday’s trail report. At least by what some people said. 8 east seems to be the biggest problem right now. It sees a lot of traffic and it is pretty rough from what I have been hearing. Hopefully the groomers can get that one flattened out. Th good news is I heard 13 north was pretty good today.

Right now it is too hard for me to say what is good and what is bad, it seems to change daily. I will try to keep up as best I can.

A shout out from the Coors Light Gang. (Damn I look like shit)

IMG_0986

A little boy about 12 years old is walking down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of ‘a house of ill repute’ and knocked on the door. 

When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted. 

He said, ‘I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I’m not leaving until I get it. 

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, ‘Do any of the girls have any diseases?’ 

Of course the Madam said ‘No’. 

The boy said, ‘I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber – THAT’S the girl I want.’ 

Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. 

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door. 

The Madam stopped him and asked, ‘Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?’ 

He said, ‘Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he’ll give her one in the car and he’ll catch the disease..

Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter’s, he and Mum will go to bed and have sex, and Mum will catch it. 

In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and catch the disease, and HE’S the prick who ran over my FROG!’