Snow is melting, just not fast enough

Weather: 40′s and rain

Trail Conditions: Mud and Snow

Good morning, it is great being back home.  We lost a hell of a lot of snow since Becker and I took off Saturday for my Mom’s house in DeMotte In.  It was a long ride for a few days, but well worth it.  I’m not sure what is going on around town here, so I’ll just leave you with a joke that Alex sent in:

 

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.  The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now   you probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, however, your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn’t find it.”

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “you have a $10,000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don’t come cheap. It’s roughly $1000 an inch.” The man perks up.

“So,” the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be   disappointed. It’s important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision.” The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, “So, have you spoken with your wife?”  “Yes I have,” says the man.

“And has she helped you make a decision?” “Yes” says the man.

      “What is your decision?” asks the doctor

      “We’re getting granite counter tops.”

Sunny in DeMotte

Happy Easter Everyone. I hope you all are enjoying your families today.   I found out my daughter down in Seneca Illinois was going to my Mom’s house in Demotte Indiana for Easter so I packed up the car and grabbed Becker and headed for Demotte at 5pm yesterday. We rolled into Hollies Bar about midnight and had time to get a pretty good buzz on before we snuck into Mom’s house. At least we thought we snuck in LOL. I usually got in trouble for sneaking in at 3am but this time Mom was pleasantly surprised. We got into bed on the back porch and thought we got away with it but in came Mom. Good thing Becker didn’t take me up on a little kutckie kutchie LOL, I’m sure that would have spoiled Mom’s Easter.

I might be off line for the next 2 days, Mom doesn’t have internet, I have to go find a McDonalds to hook onto their WiFi to post this. After that it is all about Mom, my Daughter and Grand Kid for a few days.

For my friends up in the UP, right now it is 73 degrees, sunny and no fricken snow here in Demotte…..

Rain and Warmer

Weather: Almost 50 and rain

Trail Conditions: Mush

Almost into the 50′s today.  And a nice steady rain, that will cause some thawing around here.  Temps are on the rise for the next few weeks so maybe the ice will be off the Lake in time for the Walleye opener on the 15th of May.  Should be a good opener if the ice is late, it was last year.  I have rental units open for fishing season, just call the bar.

The bar will be closed Easter Sunday and Monday, Becker and I are going to the food show in Greenbay.

Man: I know how to please a woman.
Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous.
Woman: Thank you. It’s on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream.
Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what’s your sign?
Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What’s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
Woman: What’s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? .
Woman: Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore

There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hot summer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a big bundle of wire. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that wire?” “Well,” the kid drawls, “this here ain’t just any ol’ wire, this here’s chicken wire – I’m fixin’ to catch me some chickens!” “You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” “Sure I can!” the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back at the end of the day and sure enough, he’s got a whole mess of chickens caught in his chicken wire. Well, the farmer’s sitting on his porch the next day, and the same kid comes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape. “Hey kid!” the farmer yells. “Where ya goin’ with that tape?” “Well, this here ain’t just any ol’ tape, this here’s duck tape – I’m fixin’ to catch me some ducks!” “You can’t catch ducks with duck tape!” the farmer yells back. “Sure I can!” the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back at the end of the day and again, the farmer can’t believe his eyes. The kid had a whole bunch of ducks all wrapped up tightly in his tape. The next day the farmer’s sitting on his porch again, and the kid comes walking down the road carrying a stick. “Hey kid!” the farmer says. “Where ya goin’ with that stick?” “Well, this here ain’t just any old stick, this here’s pussy willow.” “Hang on,” the farmer says, “I’ll get my hat.”

Sunny and Warmer, come watch the snow melt

Weather: 40 and Sunny

Trail Conditions: Probably turning to mush

Tune in today and watch the snow melt.  40 degrees and sunny will make for a wet sloppy day for us.  I think we will loose a lot of the wet snow that dropped yesterday.  I’m itching to take the side by side out for a little ride but the trails need to dry out some.  First we’ll need a foot or so of snow to melt off them, but that is only the rail grade, I’m sure there is a whole lot more out in the woods.

An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a Podiatrist’s office instead and weaves over to the receptionist. With out looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain.” Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the crack in the curtains. “That’s not a foot!” screams the nurse on duty. “Holy shit, lady!” the drunk exclaims, “I never knew you had a minimum!”

Snow is a 4 letter word

Weather: 12 inches of white shit

Trail Conditions: Fresh white shit all over

Did I mention that we got 12 inches of white shit?  We have seen enough of this.  LOL Well I guess it is not over until Mother Nature says it is over.  It looks like we got about a foot, but into the 50′s for next week.  Rain too so next week we should get rid of a lot of snow.  We’ll see what happens on the Lake, May 15 is opener for Walleye, last year they had a fantastic opener with the ice going off the Lake real late.  Maybe it will be time to stock up the freezers with Walleye once again……….

Let it Snow, Let it snow, Let it Snow……

Weather: Snows a coming

Trail Conditions: Fresh snow

5-8, 10-12, forecasts are all over the place.  I put my plow back on so hopefully that will make the snow miss us.  Fat chance, if we don’t want it, it will be here for sure.  I guess we could just pretend it is winter and then it would be a welcome site.  Keep an eye on the web cams start this afternoon.

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, “How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?”
 
“Well,” he said, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to
the person to empty the bathtub.”
 
“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger
than the spoon or the teacup.”
 
“No” he said. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”
 
ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON … OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE? : 

More snow WTF

Weather: Snow

Trail Conditions: A fresh inch or 2 of snow

And More on the way.  Not sure what is in store for us tomorrow, only time will tell I guess.  8 inches, possibly more, everyone up here is sick of snow.

 

“DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?” THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF HIS EMPLOYEES. 
“YES, SIR,” THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED. 
“WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE,” THE BOSS WENT ON. “AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER’S FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU!”

Riders, Start your Engines

Weather: 20′s for two days, then up into the 30′s

Trail Conditions: Frozen

Snow on the ground, LOL Just what we needed, a nice refresh.  Gonna be a late Spring.  That’s OK, we don’t need all this snow to melt at one time.

Lucky Kristie, my sister in law Etha, read the blog yesterday and seen Kristie missed out on the enchilada’s and sent her a couple down yesterday. Thanks Sister in Law.

 

When NASA started sending astronauts into space, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.  To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Your taxes are due again.

 

 

 

Cold and gloomy

Weather: Up to 40 today and then back into the high 20′s for two days

Trail Conditions: Slush and Mud, OH and ice on the way

Monday and Tuesday are showing highs in the 20′s.  Ain’t no Spring here. Maybe next week.  Slow around here for now, but I’m itching to get the side by side out.  Poor Kristie had to sit and watch me eat Enchiladas at the bar yesterday, I think she was drooling on my plate.  I’m sure glad my sister in law likes me better than she likes Kristie LOL.

 

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, “Ain’t no use knockin’! There’s no paper on this side either!”

 

To Fish or not to Fish?

Weather: Back into the 30′s

Trail Conditions: Slush and Mud

39 for a high today, but only 28 for a high on Monday.  Temps like these are going to make it tough for the ice on Lake Gogebic to be out in time for the Walleye Opener the 15th of May.  LAST YEAR THERE WAS STILL ICE ON THE LAKE ON MAY 14TH.  And the fishing was fantastic for opener.  If you fish you might want to start thinking about making plans for May 15th.

I have the apartment above the bar and the 2 bedroom house next door open, if interested give me a call at the bar.

 

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn’t swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?” The preacher calmly said “No, God will save me.” A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, “Hey, do you need help?” The preacher replied again, “No God will save me.” Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, “Why didn’t you save me?” God replied, “Fool, I sent you two boats!”