My Parents Drugged me as a Kid

Weather: Rainy Day

Trail Conditions: No Dust

Something like 88 days before the snowmobile trails open.  Am I pushing it a bit? Thursday football season starts too.  The trees up here are starting to change colors, and Fall is in the air I guess.  It won’t be long and we will be freezing our asses off once again.  Yippee, my favorite time of the year.  But before that happens I have a lot of stuff I need to get done.

 

 

THE PARENTS WHO DRUGGED  US : 
  
The other day I was in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and someone asked me a rhetorical question: ‘Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?’ 
  
I replied that I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning.  I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.  I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. 
  
I was drug by my ears  when I was disrespectful to adults.  I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the priest, or if I didn’t  put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me. 
  
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.  I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden and flower beds.  I was drug to the homes of neighbors to help mow the yard, repair the clothesline, and if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, my dad would have drug me  back to the woodshed. 
  
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think.  They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin, and if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place. 
  
God bless the parents who drugged us. 

Who’ll Stop the Rain

Weather: Beautiful, if you are a Duck

Trail Conditions: Puddles and mud, but no dust

Not much going on today but we did have a pretty busy weekend at the bar. Last night Becker and I snuck off to spend the night at the casino, but they didn’t have any rooms available.  The place was packed.  We did pretty good though, I think we only spent about $40, and that included dinner and drinks.  Wish I could do that every time.

An 85-year old man is having his annual checkup. The Doctor asks him how he is feeling.

“I’ve got an eighteen-year old bride who’s pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”

The Doctor considers this for a moment, and then says, “Well, let me tell you a story. I know of a guy who’s an avid hunter. He never misses a season.

But one day he’s in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.

So he’s walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezed the handle. BAM !

The beaver drops dead in front of him.

“That’s impossible!”, says the old man in disbelief, “Someone else must have shot that beaver.”

The Doctor says, “My point exactly.”

Phone Scam in Bergland, they must be hard up

Weather: Supposed to be nice out there today

Trail Conditions: Ready and waiting

I received a phone scam yesterday from an IDIOT.  He claimed to be from the collections department of the power company that supplies electric service for the bar.  He said the techs were in the field and ready to cut off my electric, and if I gave him my banking info he could stop them.  The reason I said he was an IDIOT is because he kept calling me Mr. Tom and had a Jamaican type accent. He probably would have had more luck trying to sell me some Gonga weed LOL.  I called Xcel engery and reported him, but he was probably calling from a third world country.

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls’ school was lecturing her students on sexual morality.

“We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation,” she said, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”

A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, “Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?”

My Man Cave…….

Weather: Rainy Day

Trail Conditions: No Dust

It has been a long time since I got drunk in the garage.  Got some work done, then I was sitting there having a few beers in the garage while it was raining outside.  Actually it was pouring, and the beers were poring too, LOL. It was then I realized I had a Damn Man Cave years ago. You see all this shit on TV about man caves, big screen tv’s stereos, built in fridge, big sofa or recliner, carpet, drywall, and who knows else what.  Well give me a garage, a cooler, raining outside, and I got me the best damn Man Cave money can’t buy………..

Bergland to Sidnaw trail has been graded

Weather: Rainy Day

Trail Conditions: No Dust

They graded the SB trail from Bergland to Sidnaw, it needed to be done but the bad news I hear is it exposed some railroad spikes.  Be careful running down the trail, a spike could cause a nasty blow out.  Today would be a great day for  ride, nice and cool and no dust.  It don’t get much better.

We made some progress on the Fish Tales webcam, I got it all configured and it is uploading pics, only problem right now is it is in their gift shop, John is going to have it mounted on the outside of the building and them we will get her dialed in on the Lake.

I must say thanks Brenda and John for the chicken dinners, Becker and I loved it, great tasting chicken.  Desserts were good too, just don’t let Becker know you sent dessert home LOL

New Web Cam coming to Lake Gogebic

Weather: Another beautiful day

Trail Conditions: Good day for a ride

Grass is cut and plumbing is done so today I think it is web cam day.  The trail Access cam has been down for a few weeks, I had a renter in there and he may have kicked out one of the plugs.  Next will be getting the camera ready for Fish Tales.  I have it partially configured but I need to find out why the picture is not updating. Then it will be up to John to get it mounted at the bar.

A grandson runs up to his grandfather and asks him if he can talk like a frog.

“Of course not,” says the grandfather.

A few minutes later, his granddaughter asks him the same question.

“No, of course not. Why are you both asking me this?”

The granddaughter replies, “Dad said that when you croak, we can go to Disneyland.”

I think I have Plumber’s Crack

Weather: No rain and 65 for a high again

Trail Conditions: Good riding day

I had a productive day, I’ve been re-plumbing the house and I made a lot of progress yesterday.  I put in pex tubing and took out all the old pipe, the only thing left to do is hook up the washing machine.  Oh and check the leak I had under the sink last night.

Today I think may be grass cutting day, Becker works at the bar today so I gotta get it done here when I have time.  Good think the riding lawn mower has a drink holder.

 

“A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, “Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we’re so obsessed with getting laid?” “That doesn’t prove anything,” the woman countered. “Think about this: when your ear itches and you stick your little finger in it, wiggle it around, and then pull it out, which feels better—your ear or your finger?” 

Cool and Sunny in Bergland

Weather: No rain and 65 for a high

Trail Conditions: Good riding day

Now this is UP weather, high 60′s and sunny, it does not get any better than that. You can have warm sunny Florida, give me 60 and sunshine anytime. You don’t sweat, bugs are gone and your beer don’t get warm fast. I guess that is why they call it God’s country.

 

 

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons,
and memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first drink.
Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.
 
I got him a Miller Genuine. He didn’t like it – so I drank it.
 
Then I got him an Old Style, he didn’t like it either, so I drank it.
 
It was the same with the Coors and the Bud and the Leinies.
 
By the time we got down to the Irish whiskey,
I could hardly push the stroller back home.

Look out for the Bee’s Nest

Weather: Up to 84 today YUK

Trail Conditions: It was fun yesterday

Becker and I went for a little ride yesterday.  We didn’t get to far, I guess we were too busy visiting with friends along the way. We stopped by to check out the Car Shack, hey Bob everything looks OK except for the Bee or Wasps nest behind the shack.  We didn’t stick around long to see what the hell they were, Becker went up close to the wall in back and here they came so we got out of there quick.  I think I made Dick laugh a little.

Stormed pretty good last night, put that with the 80 degrees we are supposed to have and it should turn out to be a pretty humid day.

THE ITALIAN VIRGIN

Maria had just got married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin.
On her wedding night, she stayed at her mother’s house, and was very nervous.
Her mother reassured her:
“Don’t worry Maria, Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care
of you. Meanwhile, I’ll be making pasta.”
So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest.
Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, “Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a big hairy chest.”
“Don’t worry, Maria,” says the mother, “All good men have hairy
chests. Go upstairs. He’ll take good care of you.”
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off
his pants exposing his hairy legs.
Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother, “Mama, Mama, Tony took off
his pants and he’s got hairy legs!”
“Don’t worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony’s a good man. Go
upstairs and he’ll take good care of you.”
So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and
on his left foot he was missing three toes.
When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. “Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a foot and a half!”
Her Mama said, “Stay here and stir the pasta.”

GB Packers host Cheerleading tryouts

Weather: 80′s today, 60 on Tuesday

Trail Conditions: Get out and ride

Blue skies this morning, just gorgeous outside. Not much went on yesterday, I worked till 7pm then Kristie came in and took over.  All I did was piss and moan all day, maybe I better start drinking Miller Lite, I think Bush Light makes me crabby the next day. Becker came home yesterday, she went to stay by her daughter’s in Iron Mountain for a week or so.

It is time to get ready for the Grouse Tournament I guess, 2nd Saturday in October. Let me know if you are interested.

Not too much else going on, I did hear the Packers have opened up tryouts for cheer leaders………

 

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