12-8-16

Weather: Cold is coming in and Lake effect on the way.

Becker and I spent the night at the Casino last night, expect a late report at best. I had this auto post at 8:30am this morning.

gambling-jokes

 

 

12-7-16

Weather: Cold is coming in and Lake effect on the way.

I do believe winter has hit the UP. Not an above freezing temp in the next 10 days. Lake effect snow on the way also. We need the cold more than the snow right now, but maybe the snow will act like ice cubes in a drink and cool off those wet lands. On you marks, get ready, get set…….but don’t come up yet. We’ll see what happens this week. Maybe I’ll see if I can go for a ride with one of the groomers.

  After passing on, George W. Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a job interview with God.
  God asks Bush: “What do you believe in”? Bush replies: “I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American Nation and so on…”
  God is impressed by Bush and tells him: “Great, come sit in the chair on my right”
  God goes to Obama and asks: “What do you believe in”?   Obama replies: “I believe in democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc. …. “.
  God is really impressed by Obama and tells him: ‘Well done, come sit in the chair on my left”
  Finally, God asks Trump: “What do you believe in”?
  Trump replied: “I believe you’re sitting in my chair”.

12-6-16

Weather: Check it out

Mother Nature I am sorry for ever calling you a tree huger. Hey Ralph, see you on the 17th.

5-10snow1206

 

 

12-5-16

Weather: Chance of rain LOL.

A minor set back today, not really though, after today temps are below freezing for a high. With any luck by next weekend you may be able to ride from Bergland all the way to half way to Ewen. Hopefully we don’t get a lot of snow over the next few weeks but the temps continue to stay below freezing, with a few -20 degree days in there. Let’s hope for a good Christmas week.

Good football weekend for those in the UP. Lions won, Packers won, Vikings lost and the Bears, who the hell cares. Don’t hate me for reporting the truth, that’s just the felling up here.

Subject: Jewish Lore

  No matter what Isaac the husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an orgasm. Since by Jewish law a wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi. 
The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and makes the following suggestion:  ‘Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm.’ 
They go home and follow the Rabbi’s advice. They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still unsatisfied.  Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi. 
“Okay”, he says to the husband, “Try it reversed. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.'” Once again, they follow the Rabbi’s advice. They go home and hire the same strapping young man. 
The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband waves the towel. The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm. 
The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to him triumphantly,  ‘See that, you schmuck? THAT’S how you wave a towel!’
 

12-2-16

Weather: Temps still suck, but it is white out.

It is starting to look a lot like Christmas out there. Next week snow and colder temps are on the way. 

10 commandments of marriage

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.
 
Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
 
Commandment 3
Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least
 a 100 grand!
 
Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
 
Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.
 
Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
 
Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said
 .
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
 
Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
 
Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.
That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.
 
Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
 
BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, ‘It really works!’

Trails Open Today?

Weather: Temps still suck.

Although December 1st is the official opening of Snowmobile season, once again Mother Nature is sending us the big middle finger. This has been the case the last few years. We can bitch but it is not going to do any good. We just have to sit back and wait her out. Without some seriously cold weather setting in the swamps and ditches that the trails run through will not set up. That’s when sleds and groomer get stuck. Remember this one from a few years back? Then we had a groomer dow for a few weeks getting repaired.

 

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Everyone up here is eager to get started, as soon as the snow and cold hits we’ll be on it.

 

A woman was at her hairdresser’s getting her hair styled for a trip
to Rome with her husband.. 

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who  responded:
” Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.
You’re crazy to go to Rome.  So, how are you getting there?”

“We’re taking Continental,” was the reply.  “We got a great rate!”

“Continental?” exclaimed the hairdresser.  “That’s a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?”

“We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.”

“Don’t go any further.  I know that place.  Everybody thinks it’s going
to be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.”

“That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser.  “You and a million other people
trying to see him.  He’ll look the size of an ant.  Boy, good luck on this
lousy trip of yours.  You’re going to need it.”

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo.
The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on
time in one of Continental’s brand new planes,  but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class.  The food and wine were wonderful,
and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great!  They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it’s a  jewel,  the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their
owner’s suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser,  “that’s all well and good,
but I know you didn’t get to see the  Pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican,
a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the
Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to
step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand!  I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me..”

“Oh, really!  What’d he say?”

He said: “Who fucked up your hair?”

11-30-16

Weather: Temps still suck.

The middle of next week the temps are headed in the right direction. But until then we still have mid to high 30’s. Not good for opening day eve.

*Twin Irish Sisters celebrate *

Twin sisters in an Irish  Nursing Home were turning one hundred years old.The editor of the local newspaper told a  photographer to get over there
and take pictures of the two 100 year old twins.

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite  well.

Once the photographer arrived he asked the  sisters to sit on the Sofa.

The deaf sister said  to her twin, “What did he say?”

“We gotta sit over there on the Sofa!”, said the other.

“Now get a  little closer together,” said the Cameraman.

Again, ” What did he say?”

“He says  squeeze together a little”
So they wiggled up close to each  other.

“Just hold on for a bit longer, I’ve got  to focus the Camera,” said the
Photographer.

Yet  again, ” What did he say?
“He says he’s gonna focus!”

With a big grin, the deaf twin shouted out,

“OH LARD JESUS!  BOTH OF  US???? — CAN I Go FIRST!!”

11-28-16

Weather: Temps suck.

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving and Deer season. I’ve just been kicking back enjoying some time with Becker. It is nice to have her home and not being on the run to doctors all the time. Becker is doing great, just gonna take some time to heal up.

A shout out to Antigo Julie, thanks for the tip on the burn cream, Becker used it at least 3 times a day and I’m sure it made a huge difference.

We are starting to see snow in the forecast, but -20’s would be a lot better.

The Old Man and the Beaver

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor 
for his quarterly check-up…
 


cid:image001.jpg@01D23F63.77078760
The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 
86-year-old said ,’Things are great 
and I’ve never felt better.’

I now have a 30 year-old bride
who is pregnant with my child. 

“So what do you think about that Doc ?” 



cid:image002.jpg@01D23F63.77078760

The doctor considered his question for a minute 
and then began to tell a story. 

“I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.”



cid:image003.jpg@01D23F63.77078760

One day he was setting off to go hunting. 

In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his 
walking cane instead of his gun.” 

“As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge.. 


cid:image004.jpg@01D23F63.77078760

He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature. 

Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if 
it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘bang, bang’.” 

“Miraculously, two shots rang out and the
beaver fell over dead. 



Now, what do you think of that ?” asked the doctor. 

The 86-year-old said , 
“Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else 
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.” 

The doctor replied , “My point exactly.”

11-25-16

Weather: Temps suck.

It is another disappointing start to opening day. Temps are not cooperating and will be a little while before those of you that wanted to get that first ride in will be able to. Oh well another year starts, each snowmobile season I have been involved with since I owned the bar came with a different problem or problems. Hey Jay Rivera, remember the year the DNR didn’t release the funds to the grooming clubs till the second week of December? I think it was you, your Dad, Brent and Brian that road ungroomed trails with 3 foot of snow on them from Bergland to Silver City and it took you all day to go up there and back?  Boondocking on state trails, you said it doesn’t get any better than that. Every year it is something different, be patient, cold and snow will come. Just not fast enough for some of us.

NEW HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER
After retiring, a former Gunnery Sergeant in the Canadian Army took a job as a high school teacher.
Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body. 
Fortunately, the cast fitted under his shirt and wasn’t noticeable when he wore his suit coat.
On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart — punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former soldier, were leery of him and he knew they would be testing his discipline in the classroom.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. With a strong breeze blowing it made his tie flap.
He picked up a stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
Dead Silence.
The rest of the year went smoothly

Happy Thanksgiving

Weather: We need cold.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. Misty is opening the bar today at 5pm.

Well I think a ride on Dec 1st is out of the question. Although we did have a sled in yesterday. Somebody has to be first, nice Job Casey.

Becker came home today from Iron Mountain, she is done with her radiation treatments. Thank you everyone for all the nice thoughts, comments and prayers. We love all of you and could never begin to thank you enough. I want to send a special Thank you out to Leanne Newhouse (Becker’s Daughter) who took care of Becker down in Iron Mountain. We couldn’t have done it without you.

A man buys a parrot, only to have it constantly insult him. He tries everything to make the parrot stop, but nothing works. Frustrated, the man puts the parrot in the freezer. After a few minutes the insults stop. The man thinks he might have killed the parrot, so he opens the freezer and takes the parrot out. The parrot is shivering. It stammers, “S-s-sorry for being r-r-rude. Please f-f-forgive me.” Then, after a moment, the parrot softly asks, “W-w-what exactly d-d-did the turkey do?”

turkey-dinner