2-6-16

Weather: Warmer for the weekend.

Trail conditions: Good to Fair.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

I received this in an email last night, if found please return or call me at the Bar and I will make sure it gets back to the little girl. Thanks, and I’ll buy you dinner if you find it.

Hi Tom,

If anyone finds a black hardcase saddle bag with orange reflective tape and a little girls clothes and iPad mini it is my 6yo daughters. We were on 8E to 3N from Bergland to Houghton. Not sure where if fell off! Thanks for posting!!

Kindest Regards,

Riders ran into a few bad trails yesterday, 1 north to White Pine and 8 between Wakefield and Bergland. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow. But good ole Mother is not cooperating with the temps again. Into the 30’s for today and tomorrow. if you are in the Ironwood area and plan on riding around here, I would probably trailer over if I was you.

Update 10:30am:  Temps expected to rise to mid 30’s or more today and tomorrow. Be prepared for a rough ride. 

A man and woman are sitting on their porch drinking a beer. The man says, “I love you.” The woman says, “Is that you talking or the beer talking?” The man says, “That’s me talking to the beer!”

2-5-16

Weather: Warmer for the weekend.

Trail conditions: Good to very Good.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

Riders reporting very good conditions yesterday, but now the temps are creeping up for the weekend. Sunday is the highest with mid 30’s, but overnight temps have been lower than the forecast. Trails should hold up for most of the weekend but I would expect by Sunday things might get a little rough. All depends on traffic.

A lady noticed her friend was wearing her wedding ring on the wrong finger so she asked, “Why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” Her friend replied, “Because I married the wrong man!”

2-4-16

Weather: Snow and colder.

Trail conditions: Good.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

Had riders saying the groomers need to get out yesterday. I had to laugh a bit, yea we need to get the trails groomed, but after we get 12+ inches it does take a while to groom things back into shape. 1 degree this morning ought to help conditions, temps are only forecasted for high teens overnight but they have been going lower than what is forecasted. As a whole temps are going to be warmer than originally predicted for the weekend but conditions should be pretty good. I can’t say for sure how much snow we received, probably 15 to 18 inches I would guess.

5-10 (2)

Bob an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.

“What happened to you?” asked his wife.
“I had a terrible day” replied Bob.  “I had to go to an hotel and pick up a man that had died in his sleep.  When I arrived there, the manager said they couldn’t get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection”.
“Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was this big naked guy laying on the bed with this huge erection.  So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to bend it in half”.
“I see”, said his wife, “that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?”

Bob replied, ” Wrong room .”

2-3-16

Weather: Snow, lots of fricken snow.

Trail conditions: Good.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

Our 3-5 or 4-8 didn’t happen. LOL I am not sure what happened out there yet, but I would guess 10″ plus so far. And it is still fricken snowing. NWS is calling for 3-6 more inches before this afternoon. Please don’t call me today and ask how much snow we got. We got a shit load. Groomers will be out doing their thing, but it will take a while to get through all the trails. If you are up here right now, go out and play in the powder. You won’t even need to go off trail.

Got a shout out to certain assholes who decided to take down signs on trail 13 south that were put up by the logging company. This is the dumbest thing anyone could do. It can only jeopardize us using their property as part of the trail system in the future. If ever you see someone removing signs please report them, without the use of logging company property we will be screwed.

An elderly widower walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
He is in his mid-eighties, very well-dressed, hair well-groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel and smelling slightly of an expensive after shave.   He presents a very nice image.
Seated at the bar is a classy looking lady in her mid-seventies.
The sharp old gentleman walks over and sits alongside her.
He orders a drink and takes a sip.  He slowly turns to the lady and says –
“So, tell me….. do I come here often?”

2-2-16

Update 2-3-16 12:33am: 5-6 inches already get your asses up here. (when it stops snowing that is)

Weather: Snow and cold on the way.

Trail conditions: Fair to Good.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

Slippery out there, watch where you are walking. Warm temps have created a lot of ice be careful. Later this afternoon the skies should cloud up and dump precious white stuff upon us. The deeper snow is supposed to go a little east of us, but 4-8 inches will do just fine. Riders reported pretty good conditions yesterday as temps have been cooling down. Snow and cold are in the forecast the next week or so, time to “Get your Asses up here”.

 

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, ‘Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?

cid:part2.04070500.06060108@bigpond.com

‘The Lone Ranger replies, ‘I see millions of stars.’

What that tell you?’ asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says:

‘Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What’s it tell you, Tonto?’

“You dumber than buffalo shit. – It means someone stole the tent.”

 

2-1-16

Weather: Looking better.

Trail conditions: Fair to Good hopefully.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

We have openings for February at the Little House, Check here

I apologize to anyone that came in for beef sandwiches yesterday. I had a bout of Vertigo yesterday that had my ass down all day. I will be back at it today, all refreshed from a 30 hour nap.

Needless to say I did not talk to any riders yesterday, I can only guess with temps hitting 40 degrees again conditions were not real good. But this week should tell a whole different story. Temps for the next 10 days are getting back to normal and snow is in the forecast, possibly lots of it. Conditions should improve greatly over the next week or so. It may be a great time to “Get your asses up here”.

Thank you Kevin for the following information:

Recap of the precip for the season:
                             Precip                     Snowfall               YTD Total                                         
November 2015      3.67                        25.3                    25.3″
December2015       4.45                        21.9                    47.20″
January 2016         4.14                        52.5                    99.70″
Amounts reported to the NWS in Negaunee.
 On the night of their honeymoon, a newlywed couple has an unfortunate accident, resulting in the amputation of the groom’s left foot. Unable to control her grief, the bride calls her mother from the hospital. “Mother,” she sobs, “my husband has only one foot.” The mother, trying to console her daughter, says, “That’s alright dear, your father has only six inches.”

1-31-16

Weather: Ugly.

Trail conditions: Fair.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

We have openings for February at the Little House, Check here

Warm again today, so be prepared for a rough ride at times. If you are headed north I would use trail 3. Lake riders are reporting a lot of slush. Next week conditions look a lot better, cold and snow coming in. There is a potential for a big snow starting Tuesday, highs in the teens and single digits over night. if only we could fast forward a few days.

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck, and we were unable to find it.” The man groans, but the doctor goes on, “You’ve got $9000 in insurance compensation coming to you, and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did, better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn’t come cheap. It’s $1000 an inch.” The man perks up at this. “So,” the doctor says, “it’s for you to decide how many inches you want, but it’s something you’d better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it’s important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.” The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. “So,” says the doctor, “have you spoken with your wife?” “I have,” says the man. “And has she helped you in making the decision?” asked the doctor. “She has,” says the man. “And what is it?” asks the doctor. “We’re getting a new kitchen.”

1-30-16

Weather: Ugly.

Trail conditions: Better than I thought they would be.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

We have opening for February at the Little House, Check here

Update 5:45pm: Trails are not too bad according to riders, they are holding up a lot better than I thought they would. Lots of slush on the Lake, but it is rideable according to reports.

Ummm…. Don’t really know what to say, If we have a lot of traffic I think things are going to get ugly real quick. Everyone wants to see 2 feet of snow (yea I’m talking about you Miller). Well follow that with today hitting 40 and lots of traffic and I think you are going to be in for a rough ride. As much as I hate to say this, if your in the UP you may want to avoid us this weekend, stay north.

The good news is right after this temps are going down into the teens for highs and more snow is coming in. Could even be another big snow storm.

Don Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.
His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him.
He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:
 
My son; “Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses.”
My daughter; “Sybil, you take the apartments over in the East end.”
My son; “Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Center.”
 
“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river.”
 
The nurse was astounded. She replies: “Your husband must have been a very hard working and successful businessman to own all that property.”
 
Sahah replies: “Property? What property? The asshole had a paper route.

1-29-16

Weather: Warm temps for the weekend.

Trail conditions: Fair to Good.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

First off a warning from the Ewen area, Snowmobiles are blowing past  stop signs on trail 8. This is very dangerous as people use these driveways. State Police could be issuing tickets. 

I have a request from fishermen on the Lake. Please keep your distance from shacks and people. You must be at least 100 feet away from an ice shack or a person.

Someone stole a side panel off a Polaris in the parking lot last night. Dude I really pity you if you get caught. People up here don’t take kindly to thieves. If anyone has any info on the person that took it please get a hold of me at the bar.

A Lady lost her small white bag on either trail 8 or 13 from the Bergland Bay Bar to the Root Cellar to Fishtails yesterday, It has a registration and eyeglasses in it. I have her email address, if found could you bring it into the bar?

Snowfall this past week has probably been close to 2 feet. There is no shortage of snow in the UP right now. It is cold this morning but temps are supposed to warm up Saturday and Sunday. Sorry folks but warm temps, lots of snow and heavy traffic are a bad combination. I think the trails are going to get beat up bad. I have been wrong before and hopefully I am wrong with my prediction this time.

Rumors of the snowmobiler going into the water yesterday afternoon escalated. The guy is fine, he actually did not make it to the water, he was stuck in the slush and needed help getting out from what I was told.

Me and the Crystal Lake Crew
IMG_1456

THE HORTH WHITHPERER
If you don’t laugh out loud at this, you’re just not trying!!
A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse.
His buddy asks, ‘How will I recognize him?’
‘That’s easy; he’s a dwarf with a speech impediment.’
So, the dwarf shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse.
‘A female horth.’
So he shows him a prized filly.
‘Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth?’
So the guy picks up the dwarf and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over.
‘Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth?’
So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears.
‘Nith earzth, can I thee her mouf?’
The rancher is getting pretty ticked off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows him the horse’s mouth.
‘Nice mouf, can I see her twat?’
Totally mad at this point, the rancher grabs him under his arms and rams the dwarf’s head up the horse’s fanny, pulls him out and slams him on the ground.
The midget gets up, sputtering and coughing.
‘Perhapth I should rephrase that. Can I thee her wun awound a widdlebit?’

 

1-28-16

Weather: Snow and cold tonight.

Trail conditions: Good a lot better.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

First off a warning from the Ewen area, Snowmobiles are blowing past  stop signs on trail 8. This is very dangerous as people use these driveways. State Police could be issuing tickets. 

I have a request from fishermen on the Lake. Please keep your distance from shacks and people. You must be at least 100 feet away from an ice shack or a person.

Someone stole a side panel off a Ski Doo in the parking lot last night. Dude I really pity you if you get caught. People up here don’t take kindly to thieves. If anyone has any info on the person that took it please get a hold of me at the bar.

Trails around the Lake are in a lot better shape with the groomers back out on the job. Cold temps tonight and 3+ inches of new snow overnight should be a big improvement too. More snow and warm temps are headed our way for the weekend, but next week temps are dropping and there is a good chance of more snow coming in. 

Watersmeet Casino Motel is shut down until further notice, reasons are unknown right now, but if you had reservations there call to confirm.

> Wrong E-MAIL ADDRESS

>
> This one is priceless. A lesson to
> be learned from typing the wrong email
> address!
> A Minneapolis couple
> decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly
> icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where
> they spent their honeymoon 20 years
> earlier.
> Because of hectic
> schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel
> schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to
> Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following
> day.
> The husband checked
> into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he
> decided to send an email to his wife. However, he
> accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and
> without realizing his error, sent the
> e-mail.
> Meanwhile, somewhere in
> Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
> husband’s funeral. He was a Baptist minister who was
> called home to glory following a heart
> attack.
> The widow decided to
> check her e-mail expecting messages from relatives and
> friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and
> fainted.
> The widow’s son
> rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw
> the computer screen which read:
>
>
> To: My
> Loving Wife
> Subject: I’ve
> Arrived
> Date: March 21,
> 2015
> I know you’re
> surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and
> you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I’ve
> just arrived and have been checked in.
> I’ve seen that
> everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
> Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as
> uneventful as mine
> was.

P. S. Sure is freaking hot
> down here!!