Archive for August 10, 2014

Another great day

Weather:Another great day

Trail Conditions: Rain tomorrow will knock down dust

Oh boy, a little under the weather today, Toooooooo many bush lights yesterday.  I even lost my damn glasses.  Rod and Bard Ellsworth celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary yesterday.  Well maybe they had their anniversary and everyone else celebrated it.  God knows I sure did.

A man came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

‘Just where the heck do you think you’re going!’, said the man.
‘I’m going to Las Vegas’, said the wife, ‘I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!
‘The man said, ‘Wait a minute!’, and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.
‘Where the heck are you going?’, said the wife.
The man said, ‘I want to see how you’re gonna live on $800 a year!’

Parrot Hookers

Weather:No rain in sight till Monday

Trail Conditions: Dusty, gonna get dustier too, but no rain

Still house hunting with Mom, man I hope I never have to move again LOL. Forecast is gorgeous still, this is by far the best weather we have had all year. (except for wintertime) Humidity has not been high, and cooling off at night.  Except for 10 degrees and Lake effect snow coming down how could you ask for anything better.

Hopefully we will see some SxS and ATV action (I get sick of spelling out side by side) this weekend.  It would be a great time to come up and take a ride.

cid:24D0B357C4124C9FB00376BECA8FC6AA@airlie
A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem.
I have two female parrots,
But they only know to say one thing.’
‘What do they say?’ the priest asked.
They say, ‘Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’
‘That’s obscene!’ the priest exclaimed,
Then he thought for a moment……
‘You know,’ he said, ‘I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible…
Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.
My parrots can teach your parrots to pray and worship,
And your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time.’
‘Thank you,’ the woman responded, ‘this may very well be the solution.’
The next day,
She brought her female parrots to the priest’s house….
As he ushered her in,
She saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying…
Impressed,
She walked over and placed her parrots in with them…
After a few minutes,
The female parrots cried out in unison:
Hi, we’re hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’
There was stunned silence…
Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and says,
cid:0B2208BA6A32458E8091C629E5A46C09@airlie 
‘Put the beads away, Frank,
Our prayers have been answered!

Hooking up Cable boxes

Weather:Still a fantastic forecast, and it is holding true

Trail Conditions: Dusty, gonna get dustier too

Yesterday it was off to Ironwood for supplies and Mom’s new doo.  Also stopped at the Charter Cable store to pick up a few cable cards.  I was the first one to gets cable cards in Ironwood.  Seems like no one is using them.  I purchased 2 cable boxes with dvr’s, and the charge is $2 a month for the card.  So far I have not had any luck hooking them up at the bar, so today we are going to see if Charter Residential is better at getting them going than Charter Business. I may be calling you Sandy LOL.

 

 

House Hunting on Lake Gogebic

Weather:Still a fantastic forecast, and it is holding true

Trail Conditions: Dusty, gonna get dustier too

I had the day off yesterday, had a nice cook out.  Steaks, baked potatoes, the works.  Looked at a house on the Lake with mom, I don’t think that was was the one for her, so I guess we just sit and wait and see if something else comes up.

Off to Ironwood today, bar supplies, house supplies and mom wants a new do.

 

A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly.

Lorraine dies suddenly.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

Beautiful weather in Bergland

Weather:Still a fantastic forecast

Trail Conditions: Dusty, but ready for a ride

Nice days and nicer nights. The weather up here does not get any better than this.  I talked to people that were hiking in the Porkies yesterday and they said the mosquitos were no where to be found.  No time better than now to head north, get your asses up here. (hey it works for winter time)

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it’s her turn, she climbs up on Santa’s lap. Santa asks, “What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?”

The little girl replies, “I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe.”

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, “I thought Barbie comes with Ken.”

“No,” said the little girl. “She comes with G.I. Joe; she fakes it with Ken.”

New Mi-Trale Map

Weather: High 70’s and clear for the whole week ahead

Trail Conditions: Couldn’t be any better, might be dusty

Forecast still looks great, hopefully it stays true.  We had an OK weekend at the bar, seen a few atv’s.  ATV riding in the UP is pretty confusing, even local people and businesses give out bad information.  The DNR and US Forest Service only give out info for areas they control.  The best single source to find out where you can legally ride is the Mi-Trale map.  It covers Ontonogan, Gogebic, Houghton, Baraga and Iron Counties.

I have had people say they do not like the new map, they like the old one better.  I can see where when riding it would be more convenient to have a single page, but after looking at the map book at home I have to commend Mi-Trale for doing a great job on providing so much information.  They even have loops suggested for rides, long or short.  I guess I will just have to take the map book on the road to see for myself.  What the hell, it is a good excuse for a road trip anyway.

To get a copy goto www.mi-trale.org 

 

How about sun for a week

Weather: High 70’s and clear for the whole week ahead

Trail Conditions: Couldn’t be any better

 

I’ve had a chance to check out the new ATV map from Mi-Trale, the few people that had one that came in liked the old style map better.  In fact I gave both of them one of the old style maps I had left.  I can see where both would be useful, so I am going to see if they have any of the old ones left. I have a few new map books coming so I’ll check them out on the trail for myself.

The weather forecast for the week ahead looks unbelievable. (It probably is) High near 80 all week with no rain.

AMAZING, SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO
HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING
THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A
FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A
TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM
ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU’LL BE
AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN’T MOVE
AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

ATV’s in Bergland

Weather: High 70’s and clear again.

Trail Conditions: Couldn’t be any better

Timberline Sports (Mark and Marlin the Ski Doo Dealer) are going to have ATV’s for rent very soon.  They had to jump through hoops to get an atv dealership added to their business but they are awaiting delivery of their new units.  Any day now you will be able to rent an ATV or side by side right here in Bergland. WOW something new coming to town.  It may not sound that big to you but it is huge for us.

I have seen more atv’s this year than any other.  We are not getting a lot of business yet from them but it is building.  The ATV clubs made huge progress last year with opening the trail in the Ottawa Forest and getting legislation changed down in Lansing to allow us to approach MDOT if we needed to use a small section of a state highway to connect to another trail or town.

It is going to take a while before we get our atv trails up to where our snowmobile trails are, but we will get there.

So throw your machine on a trailer or in back of your truck and come on up.

atv

And remember, you can always go fishing at the Bergland dam, you never know what you may catch there.

girl at dam

Sunny today again

Weather: High 70’s and clear

Trail Conditions: Ready

August first today, blue skies and not a cloud in sight.  Crap I have to work today. Oh well at least I got a job right?

I started writing this a few hours ago, I have been searching the internet for something to post on here but no luck.  Facebook is all stupid ass drama, the news is all bad, but it is sunny outside so I think I’ll just go visit my mom and brother at the park.  Have a great day

 

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw!”