January | 2015 | Bergland Bay Bar

Archive for January 12, 2015

admin | January 12, 2015

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Might be too cold to ride tonight, come sit on a warm bar stool

1-12-15 11:00am

Weather: colder than a witches boob tonight (Harvey don’t like when I say tit) -20 coming our way.

Trail Conditions: Good to fair

Seems like one trails gets leveled out and another gets rough. We have two machines running now so hopefully the Groomers can start getting all the trails as smooth as you are used to seeing up here. The best trails around are still in the Watersmeet area. Up north are good too but use 3 instead of 13 to head that way. Parts for our 3rd machine are supposed to be in later this week.

A shout out to Tom and Brad from Brimley, they were coming from the bridge to get a beef when one of their sleds blew up. Nothing Marlin and Mark from Timberline could rectify, Brad is now riding on a brand new Ski Doo.

Another shout out to Joseph Prohaska, I hope you lead the guys home safely, good thing they had you as a designated driver.

I get asked from time to time about going off trail. I know a guy that will take you on some extreme off trail rides. He charges a fee but I don’t think you would be disappointed. This is the guy Click here too For serious riders only, if your interested email me and I’ll put you in touch with him.

Aussie Helpline

Radio – “G’day mate, Aussie Helpline…What’s the problem cobber?”
Caller – “I’m in Darwin with my sheila and she’s been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up.”

Radio – “Bummer mate!”

Caller – “Thanks mate, I hadn’t thought of that, Bye.”

Category: Trail Updates |

admin | January 11, 2015

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Cold

1-11-15 10:00am

Weather: Still in a deep freeze till later in the week

Trail Conditions: Good to fair

Around the Lake trail 1 is probably your best bet, 13 south is still rough but is supposed to be groomed today. 1 north was rough by last night, 8 east was a little choppy. 13 north was rough as was 102. We have 2 machines down so the Groomers are doing the best they can do with only 1 machine.

A shout out to Rockford Aluminum Castings in Rockford, Joe says hello.

Harvey scolded me for saying titties on the report the other day so I can’t say titties anymore. Maybe ta tas could work Harvey? So cold the witches ta tas fell off. Nope, back to titties.

One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He’d toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth in the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question – and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying, they became worried and decided to go to the hospital.

As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their daughter’s date said he could get the peanut out.

The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father’s nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing.

Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, ‘That’s so wonderful! Isn’t he smart? What do you think he’s going to be when he grows older?’

The father replied, ‘From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law!’

Category: Trail Updates |

admin | January 10, 2015

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Trails are getting better, cold has helped a lot

1-10-15 9:00am

Weather: High going up to 9 degrees

Trail Conditions: Good to Fair

Even with the cold temps we have had I am still hearing about water out on the trails. By Ontonagon on trail 12 where the rolling hills are, at the bottom of one of those hills is a bad spot where water is still running. Yesterday 13 still needed to be groomed and by last night 8 east was choppy. 102 has been groomed all the way but still needs a few more passes to get it in good shape. Snow is not in the forecast until the middle of next week, would be a nice time for a little LES to blow in. Heavy traffic this weekend so be careful out there.

This just in from Nick, he was on trail 8 west of Bergland, still a water problem out that way

A shout out to Miller, do you think by shaving off your mustache I wouldn’t notice you sneaking out and leaving the women pay the bar tab?

Tetanus shot

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting his coat on.

His wife, seeing his unexpected behaviour, asks, “And where do you think you are going?”

He replies, “I’m off to the doctor.”

She says, “Why, are you sick?”

He says, “Nope, I’m going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.”

Hearing this the wife starts struggling to get out of her rocker, she then slowly goes to the cupboard and starts to put on her coat.

The husband now looks mystified and starts to yell at his wife.

He says, “And where on earth do you think you are going?

“Oh” she answers, “I’m off to the doctor, too.”

He says, “Why, what do you need a doctor for?”

She says, “Well if you’re going to start using that rusty old thing again, I’m getting a tetanus shot!”

Category: Trail Updates |

admin | January 8, 2015

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Snow is coming down

1-8-15 11:00pm

Weather: 1-2 tonight, but we already got 3

Trail Conditions: Some good, some not to good

8 west is getting better and 1 south and north are pretty good. 13 north and south are rough. 8 east was ok.

Use 3 to go north or south to Watersmeat area. Trail 2 has been good also.

A shout out to Black Hat Glenn, is you are going to hang around and belly ache all winter, go ahead and put the big horse out to pasture.

A small boy named Hameed lived in a village in Morocco. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him “You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!!!”

One day Hameed’s mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!

25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform…… Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful……

When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!

The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend Hameed, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover!!!!!

don’t tell me you thought that Hameed became a f@#$%g doctor !?!

Category: Trail Updates, Uncategorized |

admin | January 7, 2015

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Get your asses up here

1-7-15 11:45pm

Weather: Cold for a while and maybe a few inches tomorrow

Trail Conditions: Most are in pretty good condition

Trails were good overall except for 13 north a little rough, 8 west still has water and stay away from 102 until you here otherwise. Other than that everyone seemed to have smooth sailing. Or sledding.

A shout out to Eric Argall, the boys left you a bar tab, if you are not coming here in the near future just send your credit card number and we can square up.

One day a biker dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil…

Satan: “Why so glum?”

Biker: “What do you think? I’m in hell!”

Satan: “Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man?”

Biker: “Sure, I love to drink.”

Satan: “Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Bombay Sapphire, tequila, Guinness, red wine, single malt scotch. We drink ’til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a hangover, because you’re dead anyway.”

Biker: “Gee that sounds great!”

Satan: “You a smoker?”

Biker: “You better believe it.”

Satan: “All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer, no biggie,you’re already dead, remember?”

Biker: “Wow…that’s awesome!”

Satan: “I bet you like to gamble.”

Biker: “Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

Satan: “Good, ’cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.”

Biker: “Cool!”

Satan: “What about Drugs?”

Biker: “Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean…?”

Satan: “That’s right! Thursday is drug day.. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.”

Biker: “Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!”

Satan: “You gay?”

Biker: “No…”

Satan: “Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough…”

Category: Trail Updates |

admin | January 6, 2015

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Big improvement in the trails

1-6-15 10:00pm

Weather: Cold and snow 3-5 inches already

Trail Conditions: Most are in pretty good condition

The groomers are starting to get things back into shape. 13 to Rockland is even ridable now. Big difference overall today over the last week. And that was before we got the snow. A little more snow may be coming our way also. I think it will be a good weekend condition wise. I think it may be time to say “gentlemen, get your asses up here.”

A sled Bag was Found out on trail 3 near south range. If you lost one out there email me and I will put you in touch with the guy who found it.

If you booked my little house please check the dates on the online calendar and see that they are blocked out. I lost my online calendar earlier and lost some of my rental info. Email me if your dates show available Please.

Category: Trail Updates |

admin | January 5, 2015

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Cold, Snow and a little improvement on the trails

1-5-15 11:45pm

Weather: Cold and 3-6 Tuesday and Wednesday

Trail Conditions: A little better this afternoon

Groomers did 1 north and 8 east today. Riders said getting out east was a lot better today. Watersmeet and 3 headed up north of Bruce Crossing were in very good condition. They said the Lake was real smooth too. Cold air and a bit of snow helped that out. Conditions should improve and looks like a little snow is headed our way. A few days should make a big difference. Our other groomer might be going by the end of the week. Keep your fingers crossed and maybe say a little pray. Hey it can’t hurt.

A sled Bag was Found out on trail 3 near south range. If you lost one out there email me and I will put you in touch with the guy who found it.

Category: Trail Updates |

admin | January 5, 2015

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So cold the Witches Titties fell off

Weather: -20 but warming up to a -3

Trail Conditions: All of our trails were tore up pretty bad yesterday.

It is fricken cold out. Stay in doors and cuddle up. Even if your buddy has a big beer belly and bushy ass beard it is better than being outside right now. Right now it looks to stay very cold until the weekend, where it is going to be just cold. Does that even make sense?

The cold should help problem areas, hopefully now grooming can resume and we can get back on track to where our trails usually are. A few inches are in the forecast and traffic after Saturday is way down so we should see some huge improvements. I’ll give more specific info after I talk to riders today, I’m sure there will be a few brave souls out there today.

A sled Bag was Found out on trail 3 near south range. If you lost one out there email me and I will put you in touch with the guy who found it.

Category: Uncategorized |

admin | January 3, 2015

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Cold and Snow, Starting now

11:30pm 1-3-15

Weather: Getting cold and starting to snow

Trail Conditions: Not much good to report on the Gogebic Area trails.

Reports from riders today were not good. 13 north and south were all tore up. 8 east was rough, 8 west was rough. I didn’t hear any complaints about 1 going down the west shore or going up to White Pine. Traffic was way down today, hopefully the groomers can get things back in shape. The Lake is being well traveled but be careful out there, it seems when temps take a nose dive is when heaves start popping up. The next week temps are single digits for highs, snow is also in the forecast starting tonight.

Best riding is still east of here towards Bruce Crossing and Kenton and then north and south. If you go 109 North of Silver Mountain to Twin Lakes use 12 to get to trail 3.

I’ll probably be out of beefs tomorrow sometime. My dumbass screwed up when I ordered this week. (I though New Years day was Saturday and ……….ah never mind, I plain ole screwed up) But hey, try one of my burgers, they’re pretty damn good I’m told.

Category: Trail Updates |

admin | January 3, 2015

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