Archive for December 20, 2015

12-20-15

Weather: Colder.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

25 degrees out right now, warmest it has been in 3 days. The Lake is frozen as far as the web cam can see. At least where my web cams are. It is going to be a while before it is ok to run the Lake though. Temps are warming back up for a few days. Riders have been heading north, seen picks from Twin Lakes. The Mosquito mush have had a few riders this weekend. Looks like we have a little warm up headed our way, with 39 and rain on Wednesday, sure would be nice if the temps dipped and snow fell instead. We will have to wait and see.

Since we have no snow, this is what I have been doing to entertain myself.

 

 

12-19-15

Weather: Colder.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

6 degrees this morning but no snow. Actually that’s a good thing. We did need the cold first. Not what we wanted to see this morning, but it is for the best. I think the Keweenaw and over by Chassel got hit with Lake effect. Outside of a high Wednesday of 38 degrees the rest of the temps are below freezing, so we are making ice.

The frequency of sexual activity of senior males depends on where they were born.  Statistics just released from Statistics Canada and The United Nations B.O.H. Team, revealing that:
 
 
North American men between 60 and 70 years of age, will on average, have sex two to three times per week,  (and a small number a lot more), whereas Japanese men, in exactly the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year if they are lucky.
 
 
This has come as very upsetting news to both me and most of my buddies, as none of us had any idea we were Japanese.

12-18-15

Weather: Colder and some snow.

Check out our Snowball Cancer Page.

Below freezing temps the next few days. And below freezing at night for a while. Bout time, now freeze up the Lake and the wet spots in the woods and then let the snow fall Mother Nature.

I don’t want anyone to get to antzy, this is only a start of what we desperately need. But temps are going in the right direction and we are seeing snow here and there in the forecast. I know everyone wants us to get dumped on but right now we need the cold weather first. Whatever you do, make sure you ask when you do come up about ice conditions on the Lake, it is getting to be late December and there is very little ice out there right now.

An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
:
The female doctor says “I’m going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.  I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees,  then while I check your prostate take a deep
breath and say ’99’.
The old guy obeys and says“99”.
 The doctor says, “Great”, now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say “99”.
  Again, the old guy says ’99’.
The doctor says, “Very good.   Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.   I’m going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I’m going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way.  Now take a deep breath and say ’99’.
The old guy begins, 
One…. 
two…
three…

12-17-15

Weather: Below freezing for highs the next 3 days, and a little snow.

 

That’s right, 3 days in a row with below freezing temps for a high. Best news we have had in a while. There is even a little snow in our near future. We have a ways to go before the trails will be good enough to ride, but hopefully this is our start for this season. Don’t get your bags packed yet, we need more cold and snow.

Bob, a middle-aged Canadian tourist on his first time in Lincoln, Nebraska, locates the red light district and enters a large brothel.
   
The madam asks him to be seated and sends over a young lady to entertain the client. They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she gasps and runs away!
 
Seeing this, the madam sends over a more experienced lady to entertain the gentleman.  They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, “No!” and walks quickly away!
 
The madam is surprised that this ordinary looking man has asked for something so outrageous that her two girls will have nothing to do with it. She decides that only her most experienced lady, Lola, will do. Lola looks a bit tired, but she has never said no and it doesn’t seem likely that anything would surprise her. So the madam sends her over to Bob.
 
They sit and talk, frolic a little, giggle a bit, drink a bit, and she sits on his lap. He whispers in her ear and she screams, “NO WAY, BUDDY!” smacks him as hard as she can and literally runs away!
 
Madam is by now absolutely intrigued, having seen nothing like this in all her years of operating a brothel.  She hasn’t done the bedroom work herself for a long time, but she did it for many years before she got into management. She’s sure she has said yes at one time or another to everything a man could possibly ask for. The challenge is irresistible.
 
She just has to find out what this man has wanted that has made her girls so angry.  And she sees a chance she can’t pass up to show off to her employees how good she was at what they do.
 
So she goes over to Bob and says that she’s the best in the house and she is available. She sits and talks with him. They frolic a bit, giggle a bit, and drink a little, and she sits in his lap.  And Bob leans forward and whispers in her ear, “Can I pay in Canadian dollars?”

12-16-15

Weather: Still sucks but getting better?

Terry Harms from Illinois is the rider the Bay Bar will be sponsoring on the Snowball Cancer 500 mile run on February 11th. One of Terry’s friends will also be taking the ride. I am putting up $500 of the $1000 needed for Terry and I will be taking donations for the other half of Terry’s donation and Terry’s friends donation. I also have another rider that may take the challenge, Matt Klug, we will be trying to help him out with donations also. Thank you guys, the Keller Family Community Foundation is a great cause. Now all we have to do is raise another $2500 to help these guys out.

With the help of Mike Peters the KFCF is working on a Snowmobile Cancer shirt. Click here  to add a name to the shirt to honor someone’s fight with cancer.

Here is a draft of the shirt, I’ll see what I can do to have them in the bar to sell. 

Sorry, no joke today.

12-15-15

Weather: Still sucks but getting better.

White stuff out the web cams once again. Although trails aren’t any good yet it is still refreshing to see they are the right color anyway. We probable got about 3-4 inches of Slush-snow. Temps are starting to go back down in the right direction for a few days and hopefully the long term will dip lower and lower. For right now all we can do is wait and hope. And pray.

 

Nick Keller (The Milage Man), the guy on the Yamaha that ride like Forest Gump runs stopped in yesterday. He has retired Mary Jane, (the sled he rode for 99,956 miles) and it is headed for St. Germain to go into the Snowmobile Hall of Fame and Museum . I took a pic of the sled on the trailer on back of his truck but I don’t have my phone cable here.

Nick told me he is doing a 500 mile ride on February 11th and inviting 20 people to tag along. A $1000 donation is asked for to ride along with him. Nick already has 14 riders committed to ride with him and we don’t even have snow yet. When we get snow these 6 slots will be gone. I told Nick that I will sponsor a sled, so all I need is a rider with some balls, or a lady without (one Lady is already in the group of 14 riders) to commit to ride 500 miles on the 11th.

I think We have our rider but Terry please email me back.

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12-14-15

Weather: Mild temps STILL.

Usually when people have nothing to talk about they bring up the weather. But since the weather is not worth talking about I have to find something else to talk about. So…….

Nick Keller (The Milage Man), the guy on the Yamaha that ride like Forest Gump runs stopped in yesterday. He has retired Mary Jane, (the sled he rode for 99,956 miles) and it is headed for St. Germain to go into the Snowmobile Hall of Fame and Museum . I took a pic of the sled on the trailer on back of his truck but I don’t have my phone cable here.

Nick told me he is doing a 500 mile ride on February 11th and inviting 20 people to tag along. A $1000 donation is asked for to ride along with him. Nick already has 14 riders committed to ride with him and we don’t even have snow yet. When we get snow these 6 slots will be gone. I told Nick that I will sponsor a sled, so all I need is a rider with some balls, or a lady without (one Lady is already in the group of 14 riders) to commit to ride 500 miles on the 11th.

Nick also informed me that a Polaris has never made the 500 mile trip with him and he would like to see one join the group (Hey Polaris Dan, you reading this?)

If you are interested contact me and I will put you in contact with Nick.

I am going to put up $500 of the $1000, I will be taking donations for the other $500, If we raise more than $1000, the extra will go to the Keller Family Community Foundation also. (Don’t worry we will make the $1000).

So what do you say? Anyone up for the challenge?

 

12-13-15

Weather: Mild temps.

Temps for the next week are looking a little better. But what is a little better than sucks? Sips maybe?

Sorry people but I am having a hard time writing about stuff here, guess that is why it is hard to find anything on anyone’s trail report. But leave it to me to bring the bad news as well as the good news.

On a better note I had 3 snowmobilers in yesterday, they did not have snowmobiles but they came in while making their rounds anyway. Thanks Ralph, Curly and their buddy in orange who’s name I forgot.

Subject: CLEVER WORDS FOR CLEVER PEOPLE
1.         ARBITRAITOR 
A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s
 
2.         BERNADETTE
The act of torching a mortgage.
 
3.         BURGLARIZE
What a crook sees through
 
4.         AVOIDABLE 
What a bullfighter tries to do
 
5.         EYEDROPPER
Clumsy ophthalmologist
 
6.         CONTROL
A short, ugly inmate.
 
7.         COUNTERFEITER 
Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
 
8.         ECLIPSE
What an English barber does for a living.
 
9.         LEFT BANK
What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
 
10.    HEROES 
What a man in a boat does
 
11.    PARASITES 
What you see from the Eiffel Tower
 
12.    PARADOX
Two physicians
 
13.    PHARMACIST
A helper on a farm
 
14.    POLARIZE
What penguins see through
 
15.    PRIMATE 
Remove your spouse from in front of TV
 
16.    RELIEF
What trees do in the spring
 
17.    RUBBERNECK
What you do to relax your wife
 
18.    SELFISH
What the owner of a seafood store does
 
19.    SUDAFED
Brought litigation against a government official
 
20.    PARADIGMS
Twenty cents

12-12-15

Weather: Mild temps.

I think Scrooge is controlling the weather. Temps need to drop and Mother Nature is not cooperating.

I kind of got a big head this morning, a little too much whiskey last night.

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12-11-15

Weather: Mild temps.

Forecasts for next weel keep changing, not for the better either I’m afraid. Gas is down, propane is down and snow is down. I wish I could say 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

I went to Duluth to pick up Mom yesterday. Found some cool candy cane lights I put out front of Mom’s house. I was looking at decorations and seen lighted signs to put in the windows. I looked all over to find the “Merry Christmas” one, but they were all out. They had plenty of “Happy Holidays” and “season Grettings” ones but no “Merry Christmas” ones. Instead of being pissed they were out I was happy. Screw all you people that don’t want to say Merry Christmas anymore. LOL

 

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past
Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He
told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something more special.’

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.
The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,
‘By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now
and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.’

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said
‘Sir…There’s no money in that account.

”I know,’ said the old man…’But let me tell you about my weekend.’

Not All Seniors Are Senile…

Richard Levandier's photo.