Weather: Up to 40 today.
Spring is slow coming this year. Not much else to talk about except the weather these days. Whether or not you should get dressed and go out of the house. This is probably the worst time of the year in the UP. Either too sloppy to do anything or too cold. Just gotta sit and wait it out.
A LADY WALKS INTO TIFFANY’S. SHE LOOKS AROUND, SPOTS A BEAUTIFUL DIAMOND BRACELET AND WALKS OVER TO INSPECT IT. AS SHE BENDS OVER TO LOOK MORE CLOSELY, SHE UNEXPECTEDLY FARTS.
VERY EMBARRASSED, SHE LOOKS AROUND NERVOUSLY TO SEE IF ANYONE NOTICED HER LITTLE WOOPS AND PRAYS THAT A SALESPERSON WAS NOT ANYWHERE NEAR. AS SHE TURNS AROUND, HER WORST NIGHTMARE MATERIALIZES IN THE FORM OF A SALESMAN STANDING RIGHT BEHIND HER… GOOD LOOKING AS WELL. COOL AS A CUCUMBER, HE DISPLAYS ALL OF THE QUALITIES ONE WOULD EXPECT OF A PROFESSIONAL IN A STORE LIKE TIFFANY’S. HE POLITELY GREETS THE LADY WITH, “GOOD DAY, MADAM… HOW MAY WE HELP YOU TODAY?”
BLUSHING AND UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT STILL HOPING THAT THE SALESMAN SOMEHOW MISSED HER LITTLE ‘INCIDENT’, SHE ASKS, “SIR, WHAT IS THE PRICE OF THIS LOVELY BRACELET??”
HE ANSWERS, “MADAM… IF YOU FARTED JUST LOOKING AT IT, YOU’RE GOING TO SHIT WHEN I TELL YOU THE PRICE.”
