Archive for January 31, 2017


Weather: Snow today?

Conditions: Poor to Good.

GPS  found out on Lake Gogebic about 3-4 weeks ago, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

Last day of January and we are waiting for wet spots to freeze. We have been getting an inch or so a day for the last few days, 3-5 is forecasted for today. We are improving slowly but surely. Heading North out of Bergland is still your best bet.

This is what I look like this morning after drinking beers with Ed and Mark last night. Hey Mark I’m probably gonna be late.



Weather: Colder temps and snow.

Conditions: Poor.

GPS  found out on Lake Gogebic about 3-4 weeks ago, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

Groomers have been out sparing, there are a lot of wet spots that have opened up. Sadly these spots up on 102, down 1 south and 13 north just froze up before we got the warm up a few weeks ago. If the groomers go through these places it will only make things worse. We did get 4-5 inches of snow the last couple of days but we definitely need  more cold and more snow. Very unusual for us at the end of January.

Had It All!
I talked to a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.

He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed, I had a roof over my head, I had TV and Internet, and I went to the gym, the pool, and the library. I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage.”

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce?”

“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “No, no…. I was paroled.”



Weather: Below Freezing.

Conditions: Poor.

GPS  found out on Lake Gogebic, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

I haven’t talked to many sledders, I got the cold from hell going on and I went straight to bed after work. I have a few sleds out that will be returning tonight so I should be able to get a little info on the trails. The lake has firmed up again but is rough where riders were going through slush. Groomers were heading north up 1 yesterday. Snow is in the forecast early next week, again, hopefully this time it comes.

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, and wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.  
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more.  
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.  A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.  
As before, she took out a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.  Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve sneezed three times, wiped your nose, and then shuddered violently.  Are you OK?”
The woman replied, “I am sorry if I disturbed you.  I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.”
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. “I have never heard of that condition before,” he said.  “Are you taking anything for it?”  
The woman nodded.  “Pepper.”

Hey I need Help

Is anyone going up to Hancock and coming back this way that could stop at M & M and pick up some parts for me? Is so give me a buzz at 906-575-3466. Thanks, Tom.


Weather: Below Freezing.

Conditions: I don’t know.

GPS  found out on Lake Gogebic, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

I haven’t talked to any riders but I can not imagine conditions being very good out there. I believe the groomers tried to go out last night. The snow has missed us all week except for just getting a dusting the last 3 days. All total we probably only got a few inches. The big news is probably the temps. It is just not getting as cold as we need it to be. I did talk to a few people that came in off the Lake and it is firming up out there. So if you are going to call and ask how are the trails, I am going to say can you ride? yes. Are they going to be good? probably not. It will be a hit and miss situation this weekend I think. If the groomers get out the trails would only last so long depending on traffic. And I think we will have traffic because we have more snow than most areas. If you go out be careful, there must be wet areas that have opened up.

A man and his wife were in court contesting a divorce.  The issue in contention was … who should have custody of the young child; the mother or the father?

The woman began by standing up and said “Your Honour, I am the mother of the child, I brought her into this world, with pain and labour, all alone without any help from this father”.

The judge turned to the father and gave him the chance to have his say but the man began by saying, “Your Honour, I have a question.  When you insert your ATM card into an ATM machine and the money comes out does the money belong to you or the machine?”

Due to the uproar, the court was adjourned.


Weather: Below Freezing.

Conditions: Not good yet.

GPS  found out on Lake Gogebic, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

Just a dusting again, but a chance for some snow today. is showing hope for the first week of February.

>   Farmer Jack once lived on a quiet rural
> highway but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and
> eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range
> chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a
> week.
>  So Farmer Jack called the local police
> station to complain, “You’ve got to do something
> about all these people driving so fast and killing all my
> chickens,” he said to the local police
> officer.
>  “What do you want me to do?” asked
> the policeman.
>  “I don’t care, just do something
> about those crazy drivers!”
>  So the next day the policeman had the Council
> erect a sign that said: SCHOOL CROSSING
>  Three days later Farmer Jack called the
> policeman and said, “You’ve still got to do
> something about these drivers. The ‘school crossing’
> sign seems to make them go even faster!”
>  So again, they put up a new sign: SLOW:
>  That really sped them up. So Farmer Jack
> called and said, “Your signs are no good. Can I put up
> my own sign?”
>  In order to get Farmer Jack off his back said
> “Sure. Put up your own sign.
>  The phone calls to the Police Station
> stopped, but curiosity got the better of the Officer, so he
> called Farmer Jack, “How’s the problem with the speeding
> drivers. did you put up your sign?””Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has
> been killed.
>  The policeman was really curious and thought
> he’d better go out and take a look at the sign. He also
> thought the sign might be something the Police could use
> elsewhere, to slow drivers down…
>  So he drove out to Farmer Jack’s
> house.
>  His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign.
> COLONY”Slow down
> and watch for chicks!’


Weather: Went below freezing last night.

Conditions: Not good.

GPS  found out on Lake Gogebic, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

A dusting last night. I never seen Becker get so excited over an inch. I have never been so excited over an inch. Business owners in Bergland were out at 1am catching snowflakes in their mouths.

This is the worst January I have seen in the 10 years I have been here. Forecast is starting to look promising though, snow and temps staying below freezing for highs. Question is how much damage did the warm up do. We are probably going to have a lot of wet areas open up again. So if you do come up in the next couple of weeks be careful out there. South of us is going to be a lot worse than North of us, they had less snow to begin with. I’ll know more as reports start coming in from riders or groomer drivers.

Three golfing partners, J, Mark and Jeff died in a car wreck and went to heaven.  Upon
arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever seen.
St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but he
cautions them that there is only one rule:

Don’t hit the ducks in your first three months here!!!
The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks, “The

“Yes”, St. Peter replies, “There are millions of ducks walking around the
course and if one gets hit, he quacks then the one next to him quacks and
soon they’re all quacking to beat the band and it really breaks the
tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you’ll be punished, otherwise everything
is yours to enjoy.”

Upon entering the course, the men noted that there were indeed large
numbers of ducks everywhere.

Within fifteen minutes, J hit a duck.  The duck quacked, the
one next to it quacked and soon here was a deafening roar of duck quacks.

St. Peter walked up to J with an extremely homely woman in tow and asks, “Who
hit the duck?”

J admitted, “I did.”

St. Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed J’s
right hand to the homely woman’s left hand.

“I told you not to hit the ducks,”, he said.  Now you’ll be handcuffed
together for eternity.”

Mark and Jeff were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a couple of
weeks later, Mark accidentally did.

The quacks were as deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter walked
up with an even uglier woman.

St. Peter cuffed Mark’s right hand to the homely woman’s left hand.  “I
told you not to hit the ducks,” he said; “Now you’ll be handcuffed together
for eternity.”

Jeff was extremely careful.  Some days he wouldn’t even move for
fear of even nudging a duck.  After three months of this Jeff still hadn’t hit
a duck.

St. Peter walked up to Jeff at the end of the three months and had with
him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever
seen. St.  Peter smiled at Jeff and then, without a word, handcuffed him
to the beautiful woman and walked off.

Jeff, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity,
let out a contented sigh and wondered aloud, “I wonder what I did to deserve

The woman responds, “I don’t know about you, but I hit a duck.”


Weather: Still Sucks.

Conditions: It is what it is.

GPS  found out on Lake Gogebic, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

Conditions are not going to change until the weather does. Hopefully the weather changes soon or the UP is just going to sink into Lake Superior and disappear. Gotta run early this morning, guess I owe you a few joke.


Weather: Still Sucks.

Conditions: It is what it is.

GPS  found out on Lake Gogebic, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

I know I’m late with the report, but I hate giving bad news. No way else to say it, it just sucks. But Wednesday-Thursday we have snow and below freezing temps in the forecast.



Weather: Still Sucks.

Conditions: It is what it is.

Backpack found out on Lake Gogebic. Hunting license shows a DL# starting in L. Contact Bergland Bay Bar.

GPS also found out on the Lake, contact Lake Gogebic Sports.

I refuse to comment on conditions, although I am hearing they are not to bad or even good in places this is not snowmobile weather, I feel like going to sleep and waking back up when Winter returns. Probably in 4-5 days. There are quite a few sleds around though, and it does not look like we are going to get a lot of rain, as soon as the cold temps return we will bounce right back.

Subject: Afternoon delight

>  Here is old age at its
> best: 
> Russ and Sam, two friends, met in
> the park
> every day to feed the pigeons,
> watch the
> squirrels, and discuss world problems.One day Russ didn’t show
> up.Sam didn’t think much about
> it, and figured
> maybe he had a cold or something.But after Russ hadn’t shown
> up for a week
> or so, Sam really got worried.However, since the only time they
> ever got
> together was at the park, Sam didn’t know
> where Russ lived, so he was unable to find
> out what had happened to him.A month had passed, and Sam
> figured
> he had seen the last of Russ, but one day,
> Sam approached the park and lo and behold,
> there sat Russ!Sam was very excited and happy to
> see him,
> and told him so. Then he said, ‘For crying out
> loud Russ,
> what in the world happened to you?’Russ replied, ‘I have been in
> jail.”Jail!’ cried Sam.
> What in the world
> for?”Well,’ Russ said,
> ‘you know Sue,
> that cute little blonde waitress at the
> coffee shop, where I sometimes go?’
> ‘Yeah,’ said Sam, ‘I
> remember her.What about her?’Well, one day she filed rape
> charges
> against me, and at 89 years old, I was
> so proud that when I got into court,
> I pleaded ‘guilty.”The judge gave me 30 days
> for perjury.’