Archive for August 31, 2016


Weather: Gloomy.

Had a good day yesterday, went out on the boat with Becker, Les and Shelly. We went on the south end of the Lake and just sat in a cove, swam and fished a little too.

Today Becker had to go to Iron Mountain to do a little doctoring, I can’t thank Les and Shelly enough for going with her.



A man  and a woman who had never met before,
But who were both married to other  people,
Found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a  transcontinental train. 




Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over  sharing a room,
They were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in  the upper berth and she in the lower.
At 1 : 00 AM, the man  leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,………..’Ma’am,
I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach  into the closet to get me a blanket?
I’m awfully  cold’
‘I have a better idea,’ she replied ‘Just for  tonight……let’s pretend that we’re married’
‘Wow!………………….That’s a great idea!’ he  exclaimed..
‘Good,’ she replied…………….’Get your own  f…ing blanket.’

After a moment of silence,  ……………………he farted.

The  End


Weather: Sunny.

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I was at the pub the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking at the bar.

Their accent appeared to be Gaelic, so I approached and asked,


“Hello, are you three lassies from Ireland?”

One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales,  Wales you bloody idiot!”

So I apologized and replied, “I am so sorry.  Are you three whales from Ireland?”

And that’s the last thing I remember!



Weather: Gloomy.

Gloomy and rainy today, what a great day to work. Brother Mark was up over the weekend, always nice when he shows up, we get a little work done over at Mom’s house. I spent most of the weekend with the grandkids, they are pretty good when I keep them occupied, I just run out of gas way before they do.

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is. “Kenneth,” he says.

“And what is your question, Kenneth?” she asks.

“I have three questions,” he says.
“First — whatever happened in Benghazi?
“Second — why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
“And, third — whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?”

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.

When they resume Hillary says, “Okay, where were we? Oh, that’s right, question time.
Who has a question?”

A different boy — little Johnny — puts his hand up.

Hillary points to him and asks him what his name is.
“Johnny,” he says.

“And what is your question, Johnny?” she asks.

“I have five questions,” he says.

“First — whatever happened in Benghazi?
“Second — why would you run for president if you are not capable of handling two e-mail accounts?
“Third — whatever happened to the missing six billion dollars while you were Secretary of State?
“Fourth — why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?
“And, fifth — where’s Kenneth?



Weather: Sunny.

Sunny today, rain tomorrow. I have to work again today because Misty is finishing up moving, this has to be record of the most days I have worked since last winter.


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Weather: Gloomy.

Overcast all day it looks like. That’s OK, in fact I’m glad because I gotta work today. LOL I hate working when it is nice outside.

A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit.  It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings. 

“Mom,” said the boy, “what are all those women doing?”
“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work,” she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell him the truth?  They’re hookers, boy!  They have sex with men for money.”
The little boy’s eyes get wide and he says, “Is that true Mom?”
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers “Yes.”
After a few minutes the kid asks, “Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?”
She said, “Most of them become taxi drivers.”


Weather: Sunshine.

Thank you to everyone for the well wishes for Becker, we got this, she will be fine.

Not a lot going on right now, Les and Shelly have applied for the liquor license and all is going well. It will be business as usual, only with younger people running the bar.


A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.  The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.” 

Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey.  Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.” 
A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid.  Make up your mind!  I was supposed to get off four stops ago!”


Weather: Sunshine.

A couple weeks back Becker went in to have a saliva gland in her neck removed. The surgeon told us after he removed it that every thing looked fine and no cancer was present. After the biopsy we received word that it was Adenocarcinoma (I think), a cancer that effects mucus-secreting glands. The diagnosis is good I guess, she is Stage 1 and will need to get radiation, but chemo is not needed at this time. Becker had a lower GI and chest x-ray and they all looked good. Not really the best of news but in this day and age it could have been a lot worse. She will be starting radiation within the next month.

We have heard rumors already so I wanted to set the record straight.


Weather: Beautiful day, if you like rain.


Sorry late post today, had to go back to the Dr in Iron Mountain yesterday and today just flew by

Meet Walter Barnes

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, “How many of you
have forgiven your enemies?”

80% held up their hands.  The Minister then repeated his question.  All
responded this time, except one man, Walter Barnes.

“Mr. Barnes, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?”

“I don’t have any,” he replied gruffly.

“Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual.  How old are you?”

“Ninety-eight,” he replied.  The congregation stood up and clapped their

“Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?”

The old man tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit,
turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, “I outlived all them
assholes.”  Then he calmly returned to his seat.


Weather: Beautiful day.

Off to Iron Mountain again this morning for Becker to do some more doctoring. Got to get everything done before Trump takes down Obama Care.

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car that said: “TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00.”

A policeman stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just then, another car passed with a sign saying, “JESUS SAVES.”

One of the girls asked the cop, “Why don’t you stop them?”

“Well, that’s a little different,” the cop smiled. “Their sign pertains to religion.”

The two ladies frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.

The following day the cop noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. This time the sign read: “TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER — $50.00.”


Weather: Beautiful day.

Another nice day in the UP.

Not much going on today, I gotta work so needless to say it is just gorgeous outside. Maybe I can call in sick, nobody should be inside on a day like today……….. 

A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they’re at sea for so long.

“Let me show you,” says the captain.

He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there’s a solitary barrel with a hole in it.

“This’ll be the best sex you’ll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I’ll give you some privacy.”

The recruit doesn’t quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.

“Wow! That was the best sex I’ve ever had! I want to do it every day!”

“Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday.”

“Why not Thursday?”

“That’s your day in the barrel.”