Weather: Sunny now, rain later.

Big day today, new dock coming for Mom’s house. Getting to be that time of year, I’m sure the water needs to warm up a bit but before too long you will be able to see me frolicking around on Mom’s web cam in my speedo. I bet you can’t wait, can you?

The preschool teacher says, “We’re going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence?”

Mary raises her hand and exclaims, “Me me me!”

The teacher says, “Go ahead, what’s the sentence?

Mary replies, “The sky is definitely blue.”

“That’s good, Mary,” says the teacher, “but the sky can also be gray or white.”

Sam raises his hand and states, “Grass is definitely green.”

The teacher says, “That’s good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too.”

Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, “Do farts have lumps in them?”

The teacher says, “No Johnny, why do you ask that?”

Little Johnny replies, “Well, I definitely shit my pants.”

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